With God

God was starting to open my eyes this day, which would lead me into new depths. I wrote all of this while sitting in Caribou Coffee, preparing for my Sunday School lesson the next day. I thank God for the times He gave me to sit and reflect during this time in my life. It stretched me in so many ways and, since I usually studied in coffee shops, these experiences also offered me many opportunities to share my faith with others.

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It must be a Saturday morning thing. Maybe that's because it's the only time I seem to get by myself to reflect and to plainly THINK. Or maybe I'm so "busy" (a.k.a., preoccupied with catering to my own needs) during the work week that the weekend is the only time I actually get to delve into the truths of Scripture beyond "daily devotionals".

It must be both but, at any rate, this Saturday morning routine has become a necessity…a recharging of my "spiritual battery", so to speak. It is during this time of reading, reflection, and prayer that I renew my commitment toward living each moment as the Bible calls me to live. It is during this time I tend to deeply contemplate my weaknesses, struggles, and failures (which are overwhelmingly numerous), usually in light of the previous week. Then I consider ways I need to change my thinking, decision-making, responses, motives, actions, attitudes, priorities, habits, interactions with others, etc.

It was only when I began to take the time to seriously invest in my weekly Sunday School lessons that I started to realize that the truths I am teaching my students are the very truths I desperately and INITIALLY need to be implementing in my own life BEFORE I begin to even try to challenge anyone else with them. If I want my teaching to be used by God in the lives of others, I have realized that it is I who must first heed the lesson.
And not only does this involve time, but lots of effort and usually a moderate amount of sacrifice of some sort, too. And that's typically not desirable nor easy. But I really believe that to teach, one must first be willing to learn.

Even though I naturally do not think myself to be a super effective teacher, it that is actually an accurate assessment of my abilities in teaching. It's where I NEED to be in my thinking for God's strength to be made perfect in my weakness. I must never reach a place of arrogance, yet I cannot back out of or become lazy in ministry, simply because I don't believe I have what it takes. I don't. But God does!

My Saturday morning reflections have also taken me to evaluate where I am headed and if the situations in which I have chosen to currently place myself are, are proving to encourage me in my present work for God—such as helping to prepare me for the roles God has for me down the road, and allowing my life and testimony to be a lighthouse for the lost in my workplace, and to determine if these situations are a result of wanting to follow God's will and do His work at all.

Do the decisions I make revolve around earthly desires, or heavenly ones? Have the consequences of those decisions affirmed selfish motivations, hopes, and dreams, or affirmed God's divine purposes for my life? Have these consequences proven spiritually maturing in my life, or spiritually depleting? Have I grown as a result of the godly edification, or as a result of mistakes made? Am I actively seeking God's will in the face of decisions, or do my choices reflect hasty decision-making processes based on non-biblical support? Can I truly say that I am allowing God to use my life based not only on His grace, but upon godly decisions I make each day; or, rather, am I merely floating down life's path, trying only to make it through another day? In other words, am I actively SEEKING to glorify God with my life, or am I passively living my life for myself….hoping in vain that I will somehow accomplish great things for God?

These are just SOME of the questions that serve as a type of "spiritual surgery" as I continue to take in spiritual nourishment from God's Word and other biblically-based writings. And, once my cream cheese bagel is devoured, my medium mint condition has increased my heart rate and jump-started my senses, I seem to keep coming to the same conclusions on the above topics—the same answers and identical solutions. And that is simply, to apply what God is revealing to me through His Word on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and to apply it the rest of the week and beyond. Not only that, but to SEEK OUT that same opportunity to JUST AS richly feed on God's Word each time I open it. To give God first priority in ALL of life, not just when it is convenient, as in my typical Saturday morning. I am not guaranteed that time every weekend. So I need to MAKE time for it, while avoiding going through the "Christian" motions to feel I've done my duty for the day. Nobody can trade spending quality time in God's presence for a superficial "checklist" and expect to grow spiritually! That is legalism, and I must not do it!

Instead, I must learn to live as Christ EVERY moment, and to acknowledge His presence in EVERY aspect of my life. I must live for HIM instead of myself and for my comfort. I must learn to die to myself when I MOST want to protest, or compromise my faith, or act on fleshly desires and depend on human reasoning. I must do good, but out of a pure motive to please and honor God, not to lift up or showcase anything in and of myself. And I must strive to fulfill God's purpose for my life—to love Him, love others, to recognize a need and a cry for help even when it is not so evident, to go the extra mile when I am exhausted, to continually perfect my God-given skills and abilities and then actually USE them to turn others to Christ, to be sincere in showing the love of God to others so that it automatically spills from my life instead of just when I feel compelled to share it with others. Etc., etc., etc.

These purposes are often difficult for a heart unyielding to the God's Word and His Spirit, but this is my renewed mission.