Friday, August 22, 2008

Land of 10,000

Nelsons, that is. I even used to be one.

So how about a FUN post?!?!?! You Minnesotans will really appreciate this one.

I am SO glad it's August and that summer is finally beginning to wind down! Although, it is still mid-to-upper 80's, but the countdown to Autumn has begun! I am definitely not a summer person. Are you kidding? I'm from Minnesota! Where the folks cozy up in ugly sweaters for nine months out of the year and who stash away their shorts (and even capris!) until that tiny three month window of Minnesota Summer. But watch out, if you blink, you might find yourself smack dab in the middle of a blustery blizzard.

I get majorly antsy during the Southern Maryland sweat season. Flip-flop a Southern Maryland summer with a Minnesota winter, and you get reverse cabin fever! It seemed like July would never end. The month of August and the start of school seem to bring tidings of impending heat relief. The dog days of August whispers that cool breezes and falling leaves are on the way!

Seriously, the only thing I desire hot and bubbly comes in a large dish of homemade apple crisp fresh from the oven! Along with a hefty scoop of vanilla ice cream right on top - let's be reasonable!

Shannon just keeps coming up with such fun ways to incorporate blog-reader interaction! (Of course, she wrote that post more than a month ago!) Well, I guess her dad takes the credit for this one, but it inspired me to expand my little comment on her post by further celebrating my home state by posting my response again here.

Well, that and this week kicks off the Minnesota State Fair, and I haven't been in four years. FOUR. SO not right.



So here we go. Though not so much stereotypes, the following comprise a few of my favorite Minnesota culture characteristics, though far from an exhaustive list:

*First of all, Minnesota in the Fall is amazing.

*It is assumed that everyone is born with both the knowledge and the ability to hunt and fish. Not quite. I have never shot anything larger than a BB gun, but I have fished more than a few Minnesota lakes in my day. One of my uncles is an avid ice fisherman, and another owns a fishing resort up north.

*Of course, it IS as cold as they say (and they never cancel school for 20 feet of snow, except for maybe a -75 degree wind chill and I'm not exaggerating), although the summers can get VERY hot and sticky (all the lakes, remember?), so your blood never regulates to the temperature like it does in, say, Florida or I don't know, Iceland.

*March is known as the "snowiest month" but it can snow 10 inches or more in the middle of April. I can attest to this after spending two weeks in Minnesota this past March and getting dumped on Easter Sunday! It was a glorious ride to church (I say that both literally and sarcastically).

*For Minnesotans, it is not uncommon to use the A/C and the heat on the same day. Spring and Fall in Minnesota especially. Cool mornings and evenings, but warm afternoons. You learn to dress in layers.

*And, for the record, "I survived the Halloween Blizzard of '91." (And have all the cavities to prove it!)

*The accent. Although, I am convinced I never developed one or have since lost it (I'm currently living on the East Coast), and I never actually "heard" the Minnesota accent until I moved away and then went back home for a visit. I LOVE hearing it now and miss it terribly.

*A state where you will meet Mary Tyler Moore (well, at least her "house"), Prince, Garrison Keillor, and, if you're lucky, Jesse Ventura. Whom, for the record, I did NOT vote for. But I had a lot of friends who did! It was my first legal election, in fact!

*Another stereotype: everyone is Lutheran. Which is mostly true, except for the diversity in the Cities (Mpls/St.Paul). Actually, there were more Jewish people who attended my school than anything else. (Half the school was absent on Rash Hashanah and whatnot, no lie.) But everyone else is pretty much Lutheran. Except me, I'm Baptist. At least, a Christian who attends a Baptist church.

*Yes, the mosquito is the unofficial Minnesota state bird. They've enjoyed more than their share of my blood! I think by now the mosquito should have moved up to offical state bird, don't you think?

*One thing I noticed even over the last year is that Minnesotans like to say, "you know..." ALL THE TIME! They don't even give it a thought.

*They also always agree with you with the sing-songy, "Yah" instead of "Yeah".

*Minnesotans wear shorts once the temperature hits 45 degree. Come on, HEAT WAVE. (I'm guilty.)

*Our poor Dairy Queen closes most of the year...but that doesn't stop any ice cream lover from breaking out the rocky road in the dead of January!

*SNOW football, 'nuff said.

*Everyone owns a snowmobile and there are always tracks along the ditches of the highways. SO fun!

*Minnesota summers in a nutshell.

*Everybody eats lutefisk. Here's the truth. NOBODY eats lutifisk. My mom loves the stuff though, and enters lutefisk-eating contests just to get free fish soaked in lye! She's a true Norwegian! I'm...just blond.

*Now LEFSA, on the other hand, bring it on with plenty of butter and brown sugar!!! My mom even owns a real lefsa griddle. And a few other Norwegian food appliances as well. Homemade is by far the best; don't buy the store bought cardboard they claim is lefsa.

It's HOTDISH, not casserole.

*Oh, and POP. Not soda. Not Coke. Not soda-pop. I don't care if we are MinneSOTA. And I never even tried sweet tea until I was 25 years old! (I can hear a collective, "Poor thing..." Eh. I think maybe I had to grow up with it to like it.)

*Not y'all. It's, you GUYS. Regardless of gender or age.

*Duck Duck GRAY DUCK, not Duck Duck Goose. (And yes, that one is weird, but I'm sticking with it.)

*The "Great Minnesota Get Together". You never knew you could eat, walk, spend, and sweat so much!

*Hair conditioner is a MUST in the winter. Fly-away hair is a given. All you curly Sue's would appreciate a Minnesota winter just for that. No frizzy. Mine just goes flat and permanently adheres to my face and chin.

*Minnesotans don't always appreciate the long, cold winters (although many of them do), but they find plenty of ways to make it fun. For example, the downtown Holidazzle Parade and the Winter Carnival with the awesome ice palace. Just bring plenty of hot chocolate!

*Everybody (except my family) owns a cabin up north. You know, I was SO deprived, you guys!

*My relatives actually say, "Uff-Da!" and mean it. My grandma especially. She also says "davenport" for couch and "oodles" for lots. LOVE her.

*Finally, this link, in honor of my dad (who never even turned on a computer in his life).

Now, if you're bored, take this quiz.

*****

One more spring in Minnesota,
To come upon Lake Wobegon.
Old town I smell your coffee.
If I could see you one more time --

I can't stay, you know, I left so long ago,
I'm just a stranger with memories of people I knew here.
We stand around, looking at the ground.
You're the stories I've told for years and years.

That yard, the tree -- you climbed it once with me,
And we talked of cities that we'd live in someday.
I left, old friend, and now I'm back again,
Please say you missed me since I went away.

One more time that dance together,
Just you and I now, don't be shy.
This time I know I'd hear the music
If I could hold you one more time.

- Garrison Keillor