Where was Dr. Phil in 1996?

So it's after 4pm and I'm sitting here in my sweats. I should be in the shower right now, but I rarely give in to the urge to blog so here we are.

It's been sort of a strange day, this President's Day. An unusually relaxed day. I worked from home for a few hours this morning, then cut up some leftover chicken to freeze for a later meal of soup. I made a quick store run and then made brownies.

Ahhh, I love being home.

Plopped down for an hour and sort of worked some more (barely - more like surfed blogs!) while this episode of Dr. Phil played in the background.

(Who am I? I thought I only make fun of this guy!)






















A 14-year-old girl was on the show with her parents because she regularly dressed "older than her age" (more like immodest for any age) and acted "sexy" and "hot" to get attention from guys at school. Of course she reflected complete immaturity with everything she said and most naively defined "slut" as someone who is "pretty" and "cute" and "gets the boys".

(I am so asking for uninvited Google searchers!)

Absolutely nothing new, but still - scary, scary, scary!!! Makes me terrified to think I could become responsible for raising a daughter someday!

Of course, the mother on the show said she didn't approve of her daughter's actions, but who do you think buys all her outfits? Oh no, Mom, she's not going to show off her thong if you buy her one. It's your little secret. Har, har.

Knowing this was a very secular family made me feel a little better about raising a daughter in a Christian home. It was obvious the girl desperately wanted to find her identity and place in life. Yet it grieved me to know that all she needed was a godly young woman to mentor her with the love of Christ. Somebody she could look up to and trust. It's just sad that she probably won't get that at home or from anyone in her sphere of influence.

But at least we can certainly be that person to someone in our sphere!

I love this blogger for her wise insight to raising teenage girls in this culture. I hope her ministry is still going strong when I'm at that stage in life.

Our youth desperately need our prayers. Thanks to Facebook, I have received a sneak peek into the wild dorm lives of several of the church kids I used to babysit or instruct in AWANA Clubs. And yes, I said church kids. The profane statuses, the immodest photos, even the outright renouncing of faith. I am shocked by what I see. Not so much because I think it is impossible for kids to play with sin, but because I know their parents. I know how they were raised. And I know which Bible verses they have memorized!!!

I did not attend a secular university, but because of what I see, I am beginning to grasp how numerous were the mercies granted on my behalf, even in my decision to attend Bible college (strict as it may have been). Christian education by no means exempts young believers from worldly troubles. Yet it does vastly differ in regards to carnality. To say I lived in a bubble for four years is an understatement!

However, I seriously don't know how I survived public high school with nary a scratch! Makes me kind of glad now that I wasn't super popular or attractive or even outgoing. You better believe I wanted to be cool and well-liked among my peers, but it never became my obsession. I more or less observed from afar, all the while remaining blessedly ignorant about the mistakes that could have become my demise. Praise God for any trace of ignorance among youth anymore!

I didn't even really have a godly mentor, to speak of. I had amazing youth leaders - Bill and Brenda, a husband and wife team. Yet I seemed to compartmentalize my life at that age, as I'm sure a lot of church kids, especially in the public school system, tend to do. I mainly spoke to and through my diary, still sorting through my Christianity.

I didn't even date in high school! How did that happen?! I say I wasn't attractive, but what I mean is that I never put myself out there. Although I wore makeup, did my hair, and dreamed about certain boys, I kept pretty much to myself and just a few friends. My wardrobe consisted mostly of baggy clothes (sometimes men's button-up shirts), typically to account for my skewed body image. In fact, I was most always on a diet - I tried everything, even those cortisol "fat-dissolving" pills from the infomercials! These days I average wearing a 6/8, but back then I regularly wore size 13/14 jeans, yet I was smaller than I am now! I don't know what my deal was. High school can really mess you up. I'm just glad for whatever prevented me from turning to anorexia or bulimia because I claim no immunity!

I shudder to think what I may have been subjected to had I been "cool" enough to have walked with certain crowds in high school. I'm thankful that although feeling like an outsider wasn't necessarily fun, it most likely saved me from a slippery slope that I could still be riding to this day.

I don't think teenage girls ought to strive towards a lonely "outsider" image, unable to socialize of the basic type. There is a difference between living separated and living life. If I could transport back to high school, with all my heart I would be more comfortable in my own skin. I would befriend more of my peers - in each and every clique. I would care enough to know what I believed and why I believed it. I would defend my faith in confidence and overflow with the light of the gospel. I wouldn't let others deflate my spirit so quickly. I would raise my hand more often and speak louder.

And, to boot, I would set aside all inhibition and go try out for the lead in that play!

In general, I wish I had been more self-confident. Not the humanistic brand. Confidence in the "self" I knew God designed in me though I was too timid (inward-focused) to freely open up. If only we could just save high school until after college and roughly two or so years of marriage, I know I would fare much better!

[insert tongue in cheek]

But alas, all anyone can do is learn from high school. You can't buy maturity at the store, you can only grow into it. But Praise Jesus, we can model it to the next generation of 14-year-olds! We can infuse more of God in their lives than we were given. We can teach them to not necessarily act like they're older (everyone is entitled to their childhood), but to think older, or rather, beyond the culture and world they live in. Colossians 3:1-2 has the power to foster a maturity far superior to that a youth's actions and consequences can alone instill. Perspective is an amazing lesson, both to teach and to learn.

I can only hope to live out that lesson. I pray that my future daughters can "get it" early on. I pray they will find their worth and place their security in a God who desperately hurts that they have to grow up in this most perversely tainted and cursed world. A Savior who wants to redeem them from the mixed messages and confusion they battle as their tender hearts and young minds awkwardly grow into their developing bodies. A Father who wouldn't think of publicly shaming his daughter on a national television show. And a Counselor whose teaching and guidance could knock Dr. Phil right out of his own studio!

Um, or maybe we'll just make boys.

One thing is for sure, I think I'll switch back to the cooking channel for a while!