We had a wonderful 4th of July, just one injury, and it not even fire related!
Some of the church members came over to my parents' house for a BBQ. The kids were setting off firecrackers, sparklers, and smoke bombs. The fireworks were just up the hill, so it was pretty convenient since we didn't need to find a parking spot. The display was kind of short, but they are coming up with so many creative new fireworks! They did a star, a smiley face, a heart, the planet Saturn, and others. It was the perfect weather, too. The bugs were scarce and the temperature was mild.
My grandma got to come over, too. She suffered a heart attack last month, and after a couple of days in the hospital my dad led her to the Lord. It was the most amazing miracle I've ever witnessed! Now, at age 89, my grandma is a child of God. We really didn't think she would make it past the hospital room, but she's a tough one, so they moved her to a sort-of nursing facility. She has dementia now, and it's hard to see her wither from the feisty, opinionated woman she used to be to a frail mind and body. Yet I am convinced that had she not developed the disease she would not have accepted Christ. She was too strong-willed every other time we had tried to witness to her. But praise be to God, we are STILL rejoicing!
Anyway, Grandma scared us half to death on two occasions last night. When I was inside, she had walked up the steps to open the door to the house. I was just asking her if she needed help (usually it takes someone to help her walk anywhere, and especially up steps! Just as I started walking towards her I saw her hand shake, drop her cup of water, and fall backwards from three steps up! I knew I couldn't help her since I was inside, and I was horrified at what she looked like falling down, and so instinctively I ran into the next room and buried my head in the couch. Not my most shining of moments, but it totally freaked me out! I just knew her head would hit that concrete! She didn't though, and she was amazingly fine. She hit her head on the grass, but she kept telling us that she was ok. Well, and then she fell walking back from the park after the fireworks. Her legs just gave way from under her.
I mean, I love the fact that we still have my grandma with us, but I don't know if she should have been taken out like that. Maybe out to dinner or something, but man, that was SO scary, you don't even know! God's hand of mercy is the only thing I can think of that pillowed those two spills.
It must be tough to get old....
Monday, July 5, 2004
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
The wait for a date and a mate
As a married woman, it's sort of fun, now, to read back over stuff I wrote while still playing the "dating game". I saw this guy about 5 times in 2 weeks, and then we mutually parted ways after a horrible date at the bowling alley. It wasn't actually the bowling that did it in (although I was wearing a skirt, in which case I probably looked like a loser - who ever goes bowling in a skirt?!), but by the end there was something in the air that just didn't seem right, vague as it was. But now I could care less because I'm married to Jeromy, and I snagged the best one! Well, he really snagged me....
*****
Arghhhh! I just finished getting ready for a date night! This is the second time I've gotten together with this guy. His name is Matt...funny because I dated a Matt last summer, too! We went on a semi-blind date last Tuesday, and now we're going to this Itallian restaurant in town. Which is good, too, 'cause I'm hungry! I'm more nervous, too, though. The first date was fine, but it the first time we met. The jitters are different tonight, but I'm not really sure why. He's good looking, friendly, we find a lot to talk about, and we are right on as far as our beliefs go. He actually attends the church I went to as a little kid! Kind of eery, huh!
I guess I'm open minded about tonight. Actually the last time I saw him I didn't think he'd call me ever, but then he called the next day, which blew me away! The REALLY ironic thing is that our date last week was to an Allen Asbury concert, which was incredible!!! (Allen Asbury sings "Someone's Praying Me Through".) The thing is, Matt doesn't really like music! I couldn't believe it! I mean, he doesn't mind it, but it's not really his thing. I've never met anyone who dislikes music. Actually, let me re-phrase that, I've never met a Christian that dislikes music. And if you can't tell by now, music is a huge part of MY life. Ok, maybe I'm weird, but sometimes I can't help but just...singing...whatever and wherever, like when I'm excited or joyful or thankful, or something like that. That's just me.
So anyway, I had to talk to someone (or something! LOL) because he won't be here for another half hour. I wish I could just skip this whole dating "thing". It's kind of annoying. I mean, I haven't had a lot of relationships in my life, just casual dates and one I guess you could call "official" relationships, and even that didn't really feel like we were dating. We didn't end the relationship that long ago, either. I was the one who broke things off just because I was fine dating him, but I just couldn't see myself living with him for the rest of my life. Like, the "sparks" weren't flyin' or whatever.
I wish there was a guy out there who's not necessarily Mr. STUD or He-Man or anything, but one who knows BOTH how to have fun and when to be serious. Let me tell you, Christians can have the best fun sometimes! I'm really crazy, but you probably already know that from reading all this! LOL I do like to have deep, meaningful conversations, but I also like to joke around and tease big time (it's my upbringing!). Somebody REAL. Who is honest and open and laid back and sincere and can express his thoughts and feelings. Somebody who loves the Lord and can be the spiritual leader in the relationship, but who is on the same level as I am. I can't say I've found that person yet. I KNOW I wasn't ready for a relationship when I was in high school (every situation is different), but I wish God would just drop my man out of the sky. But He's making me wait. Patience is hard sometimes. But...I have a God who is faithful.
There's a verse in Psalms that says, "Delight yourself also in the Lord: and He shall give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). Well we single gals used to believe that verse meant that if we prayed hard enough and sang loud enough God would give us what we want. A name it and claim it philosophy. Leave it to women! Well having studied that verse I have come to believe that as I continue to get to know my Lord and Savior (through spending time in His Word and in prayer) I will begin to understand the things God desires....which, in turn, will become my desires IF my goal is to please Him--to "delight" in Him. So right now either I'm not delighting in the Lord, or I have not made His desires my desires.
Wow, I didn't realize how much I needed reminding of that verse until I began writing it out right now. One thing I know I need to work on (which also made my "list" is trust. When I want something, I have a tendency to try to make it work, to achieve it or acquire it...on my own. It is only after my attempts fail that I realize I forgot to pray about it first. With God there are no big or small issues in our lives. He wants us to come to Him before making ANY decision or stepping out to do ANYTHING. Proverbs 3:5-6 is a life verse for a lot of people I know. It is a good verse. It says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." That doesn't mean I don't plan or set goals. But I need to first surrender those plans and goals to the Lord, willing to be re-directed should doors close. Well there have been far too many paths I've directed on my own without any thought to what God might want me to do! This is a hard lesson for me to learn, and I think for everyone, or so many people wouldn't claim it as their life verse. (I don't actually have a life verse...but I do have favorite passages that really speak to me.)
Even with relationships. Sure, I want to get married and have a family. But today that's not what God wants for me. (Unless tonight is the start down that road! lol) God has a purpose for me in every season of my life, even as I'm single. I just need to keep trusting in the Lord with all my heart and not trying to lean on MY understanding when I face disappiontment or feel impatient. When that is the case, I usually discover that I have not acknowledged Him and am not allowing Him to direct my path, even in this one part of my life. It is amazing how much more smoothly I can handle things when I have first layed them at the feet of Jesus! Not to mean the problems disappear, but He always gives me the peace and the ability to trust Him when I have no idea what He is up to. Someone once said that there is no such thing as an unanswered prayer. God ALWAYS answers immediately with one of three words, YES, NO, or WAIT. I'll take a yes or a no over a wait anytime! But it's during those periods of waiting when I find that my faith increases the most. I learn to trust His timing and perfect ways, and to live for something more than instant gratification. God certainly knows what He's doing, and I am so grateful, because there are many times when I do not!!!
*****
Arghhhh! I just finished getting ready for a date night! This is the second time I've gotten together with this guy. His name is Matt...funny because I dated a Matt last summer, too! We went on a semi-blind date last Tuesday, and now we're going to this Itallian restaurant in town. Which is good, too, 'cause I'm hungry! I'm more nervous, too, though. The first date was fine, but it the first time we met. The jitters are different tonight, but I'm not really sure why. He's good looking, friendly, we find a lot to talk about, and we are right on as far as our beliefs go. He actually attends the church I went to as a little kid! Kind of eery, huh!
I guess I'm open minded about tonight. Actually the last time I saw him I didn't think he'd call me ever, but then he called the next day, which blew me away! The REALLY ironic thing is that our date last week was to an Allen Asbury concert, which was incredible!!! (Allen Asbury sings "Someone's Praying Me Through".) The thing is, Matt doesn't really like music! I couldn't believe it! I mean, he doesn't mind it, but it's not really his thing. I've never met anyone who dislikes music. Actually, let me re-phrase that, I've never met a Christian that dislikes music. And if you can't tell by now, music is a huge part of MY life. Ok, maybe I'm weird, but sometimes I can't help but just...singing...whatever and wherever, like when I'm excited or joyful or thankful, or something like that. That's just me.
So anyway, I had to talk to someone (or something! LOL) because he won't be here for another half hour. I wish I could just skip this whole dating "thing". It's kind of annoying. I mean, I haven't had a lot of relationships in my life, just casual dates and one I guess you could call "official" relationships, and even that didn't really feel like we were dating. We didn't end the relationship that long ago, either. I was the one who broke things off just because I was fine dating him, but I just couldn't see myself living with him for the rest of my life. Like, the "sparks" weren't flyin' or whatever.
I wish there was a guy out there who's not necessarily Mr. STUD or He-Man or anything, but one who knows BOTH how to have fun and when to be serious. Let me tell you, Christians can have the best fun sometimes! I'm really crazy, but you probably already know that from reading all this! LOL I do like to have deep, meaningful conversations, but I also like to joke around and tease big time (it's my upbringing!). Somebody REAL. Who is honest and open and laid back and sincere and can express his thoughts and feelings. Somebody who loves the Lord and can be the spiritual leader in the relationship, but who is on the same level as I am. I can't say I've found that person yet. I KNOW I wasn't ready for a relationship when I was in high school (every situation is different), but I wish God would just drop my man out of the sky. But He's making me wait. Patience is hard sometimes. But...I have a God who is faithful.
There's a verse in Psalms that says, "Delight yourself also in the Lord: and He shall give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). Well we single gals used to believe that verse meant that if we prayed hard enough and sang loud enough God would give us what we want. A name it and claim it philosophy. Leave it to women! Well having studied that verse I have come to believe that as I continue to get to know my Lord and Savior (through spending time in His Word and in prayer) I will begin to understand the things God desires....which, in turn, will become my desires IF my goal is to please Him--to "delight" in Him. So right now either I'm not delighting in the Lord, or I have not made His desires my desires.
Wow, I didn't realize how much I needed reminding of that verse until I began writing it out right now. One thing I know I need to work on (which also made my "list" is trust. When I want something, I have a tendency to try to make it work, to achieve it or acquire it...on my own. It is only after my attempts fail that I realize I forgot to pray about it first. With God there are no big or small issues in our lives. He wants us to come to Him before making ANY decision or stepping out to do ANYTHING. Proverbs 3:5-6 is a life verse for a lot of people I know. It is a good verse. It says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." That doesn't mean I don't plan or set goals. But I need to first surrender those plans and goals to the Lord, willing to be re-directed should doors close. Well there have been far too many paths I've directed on my own without any thought to what God might want me to do! This is a hard lesson for me to learn, and I think for everyone, or so many people wouldn't claim it as their life verse. (I don't actually have a life verse...but I do have favorite passages that really speak to me.)
Even with relationships. Sure, I want to get married and have a family. But today that's not what God wants for me. (Unless tonight is the start down that road! lol) God has a purpose for me in every season of my life, even as I'm single. I just need to keep trusting in the Lord with all my heart and not trying to lean on MY understanding when I face disappiontment or feel impatient. When that is the case, I usually discover that I have not acknowledged Him and am not allowing Him to direct my path, even in this one part of my life. It is amazing how much more smoothly I can handle things when I have first layed them at the feet of Jesus! Not to mean the problems disappear, but He always gives me the peace and the ability to trust Him when I have no idea what He is up to. Someone once said that there is no such thing as an unanswered prayer. God ALWAYS answers immediately with one of three words, YES, NO, or WAIT. I'll take a yes or a no over a wait anytime! But it's during those periods of waiting when I find that my faith increases the most. I learn to trust His timing and perfect ways, and to live for something more than instant gratification. God certainly knows what He's doing, and I am so grateful, because there are many times when I do not!!!
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Purpose Driven Life II
I am still working my way through The Purpose Driven Life. I am finding how easy it is for me to get sidetracked to living my life without regard to God. It only takes a difficult situation or any kind of failure to bring me back to where I should be. It is SO reassuring to know that God has given us abilities not to use for ourselves, but to fulfill his unique and heavenly calling for our lives. Some days I feel like I'm just floating on through and life is good. But God doesn't want me to settle with a "good life".
I'm reminded of a new "Mercy Me" song, which says,
"You put me here for a reason / You have a mission for me / You knew my name and You called it / Long before I learned to breathe / Sometimes I feel disappointed / By the way I spend my time / How can I further Your Kingdom / When I'm so wrapped up in mine?
And although I'm living a good life / Can my life be something great? / I have to answer the question before it's too late. / If I give the very best of me / That becomes my legacy / So tell me what am I waiting for? /What am I waiting for?
In a blink of an eye that's when / I'll be closer to You than I've ever been / Time will fly, but until then / I'll embrace every moment I'm given / There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye."
We find fulfillment ONLY in living for and serving God. Back in December I sat down and wrote out a list of things I need to work on (regardless of whether I WANT to work on them or not...that would cut it down big time!) I thought, you know, five or ten character qualities or spiritual areas where I am most week, no big deal. Nope.....43 items later...and counting...I'm going, "God, why don't we just start from scratch! Maybe I'll do better this go around!" But no such luck...so I just kept on writing. The list covered an antire notebook page front and back, margins and all. Then I figured, well, I'm at the end of the page, I've run out of room. I guess that's it! Yeah right! I probably could fill volumes worth of things I need to work on!
I'm certainly glad God tells me "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" because I fail SO often! I stashed that list away for months...too scared to look at it for fear that I might actually have to DO something! Heaven forbid! LOL But after starting The Purpose Driven Life I forced myself to take it out and study it. That's easy. The hard part is when I wake up tomorrow morning and have to put them into practice!
I'm reminded of a new "Mercy Me" song, which says,
"You put me here for a reason / You have a mission for me / You knew my name and You called it / Long before I learned to breathe / Sometimes I feel disappointed / By the way I spend my time / How can I further Your Kingdom / When I'm so wrapped up in mine?
And although I'm living a good life / Can my life be something great? / I have to answer the question before it's too late. / If I give the very best of me / That becomes my legacy / So tell me what am I waiting for? /What am I waiting for?
In a blink of an eye that's when / I'll be closer to You than I've ever been / Time will fly, but until then / I'll embrace every moment I'm given / There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye."
We find fulfillment ONLY in living for and serving God. Back in December I sat down and wrote out a list of things I need to work on (regardless of whether I WANT to work on them or not...that would cut it down big time!) I thought, you know, five or ten character qualities or spiritual areas where I am most week, no big deal. Nope.....43 items later...and counting...I'm going, "God, why don't we just start from scratch! Maybe I'll do better this go around!" But no such luck...so I just kept on writing. The list covered an antire notebook page front and back, margins and all. Then I figured, well, I'm at the end of the page, I've run out of room. I guess that's it! Yeah right! I probably could fill volumes worth of things I need to work on!
I'm certainly glad God tells me "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" because I fail SO often! I stashed that list away for months...too scared to look at it for fear that I might actually have to DO something! Heaven forbid! LOL But after starting The Purpose Driven Life I forced myself to take it out and study it. That's easy. The hard part is when I wake up tomorrow morning and have to put them into practice!
Naptime in Nannyland
Gearing up for a camping weekend!!!
Well, boys are leaving tomorrow, and I will join them next week. But it's no fun camping in the rain, no matter how much I like roughing it! Julie Sweeney's parents own a cabin up north where they annually invite all 6 of their children and families to go boating and fishing for a week. That means I only have to work 2 days next week! Yeah!!!
It will be nice because with my summer work schedule I won't be able to counsel at actual CAMP this year, as I've done ever since I was too old to be a camper myself. I'll miss that. I have some good memories of camp, well, and I met one of my best friends at camp before the 5th grade. Jen and I went on to become college roommates throughout our years in college. We are very similar in many ways, yet very different, too. Jen is a night owl, I am NOT. That meant while she jabbered on the phone till 1 a.m. every night I annoyed her by crashing into dressers and desks in the wee hours of the morning. While she is a social butterfly and a classic flirt, I am a cautious observer before I allow myself to get close to someone (but when I do, they are friends for life). Jen is more of a "live for the moment", spontaneous kind of person while I am sentimental by nature and thrive off ready made plans. Oddly enough, we think SO alike and we even finish each other's sentences. It didn't matter that she was an Oscar and I was a Felix. We got on each other's nerves plenty, but we pride ourselves by saying we never once had an all-out cat fight! And that's rare in the girls’ dormitory! LOL Now I'm just scared to know what it's like to live with a MAN someday! I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there!!
Well, the boys' half hour is about up, so I better high-tail it upstairs. And hey, the sun is coming out! Yay! I'll just save this for now and pick it back up when I get another chance. TGIF! It actually turned out to be a muggy 75 degrees today. The best part is that the boys and I spent over an hour in the backyard digging for night crawlers. Didn't take much effort what with all the rain we got the last couple days. Now we have a TON of bait to use on the camping trip! It was a messy job...but somebody's gotta do it! Well, and then after I told the boys to take their shoes off OUTSIDE before heading inside, I enter the house just in time to see Adam sitting on my bathroom floor, bawling. He had tried to wash his mud-caked shoes in my sink and had not only plugged up the drain, gotten mud all over the floor and walls, but didn't even make a single dent in the mud on the bottom of his shoes! When he saw my face he just cried harder! It took me a couple minutes, but I was finally able to laugh it off. Poor guy...
Well, boys are leaving tomorrow, and I will join them next week. But it's no fun camping in the rain, no matter how much I like roughing it! Julie Sweeney's parents own a cabin up north where they annually invite all 6 of their children and families to go boating and fishing for a week. That means I only have to work 2 days next week! Yeah!!!
It will be nice because with my summer work schedule I won't be able to counsel at actual CAMP this year, as I've done ever since I was too old to be a camper myself. I'll miss that. I have some good memories of camp, well, and I met one of my best friends at camp before the 5th grade. Jen and I went on to become college roommates throughout our years in college. We are very similar in many ways, yet very different, too. Jen is a night owl, I am NOT. That meant while she jabbered on the phone till 1 a.m. every night I annoyed her by crashing into dressers and desks in the wee hours of the morning. While she is a social butterfly and a classic flirt, I am a cautious observer before I allow myself to get close to someone (but when I do, they are friends for life). Jen is more of a "live for the moment", spontaneous kind of person while I am sentimental by nature and thrive off ready made plans. Oddly enough, we think SO alike and we even finish each other's sentences. It didn't matter that she was an Oscar and I was a Felix. We got on each other's nerves plenty, but we pride ourselves by saying we never once had an all-out cat fight! And that's rare in the girls’ dormitory! LOL Now I'm just scared to know what it's like to live with a MAN someday! I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there!!
Well, the boys' half hour is about up, so I better high-tail it upstairs. And hey, the sun is coming out! Yay! I'll just save this for now and pick it back up when I get another chance. TGIF! It actually turned out to be a muggy 75 degrees today. The best part is that the boys and I spent over an hour in the backyard digging for night crawlers. Didn't take much effort what with all the rain we got the last couple days. Now we have a TON of bait to use on the camping trip! It was a messy job...but somebody's gotta do it! Well, and then after I told the boys to take their shoes off OUTSIDE before heading inside, I enter the house just in time to see Adam sitting on my bathroom floor, bawling. He had tried to wash his mud-caked shoes in my sink and had not only plugged up the drain, gotten mud all over the floor and walls, but didn't even make a single dent in the mud on the bottom of his shoes! When he saw my face he just cried harder! It took me a couple minutes, but I was finally able to laugh it off. Poor guy...
Friday, June 11, 2004
Purpose Driven Life I
I don't think I ever got through the entire book, but the portion I did read evidently had an impact in my life at the time. I thought the author could have spoken more about Christ than just the generic usage of "God" - because there is no getting to God without Christ! - but oh well.
*****
I'm in the middle of reading Rick Warren's, A Purpose Driven Life. My dad ordered it through this one church and they gave it to him for free! So I stole it from him for a while, and it's really good. The basic theme of the book is a biblical discussion on life's purpose and meaning, beginning with God and His reasons for creating us. (By God and for God.) It's a pretty good read.
We find fulfillment in serving God, and one of those means is by serving others. Matthew 25:40 says, this about service to others, "And the King shall answer and say unto them, 'Truly I say unto you, inasmuch as much as you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.'" That means if I choose to act selfishly or unfairly or spitefully, etc. towards an individual, I have done it unto Christ. If I treat others with kindness and generocity and patience, etc. I have done it unto Christ. I need this reminder more often.
It is comforting to know that God's purpose for me rises far above my weaknesses and inadequacies. Otherwise the moment God saved me He might as well have taken me to heaven right then and there, because I would be no use to Him on my own down here! But that is exactly why I AM still here. God wouldn't be cruel enough to leave His children in this sin-infested war zone (physically AND spiritually) just to torture us. No--I must live for something greater than this world, than living for myself.
That's why I must utilize each new day He gives me to serve God and His purposes. Just to know that my life has the potential to count for eternity gives me teriffic motivation to strive toward accomplishing whatever God places in front of me. Whether that be sharing the message of Christ to those whom He loves, whether that be visiting the elderly in nursing facilities, donating money to the poor, or merely wiping the runny nose of a five-year-old little boy...it is an honor and a joy to serve the Lord. If it's not, it should be. Whenever I find my task undesirable and NOT joyful, I have to readjust my attitude: Am I really serving Him or am I serving myself? Am I living for this life or living for the one to come? Once I come to grips with my purpose on this earth, life instantly takes on a whole new perspective.
*****
I'm in the middle of reading Rick Warren's, A Purpose Driven Life. My dad ordered it through this one church and they gave it to him for free! So I stole it from him for a while, and it's really good. The basic theme of the book is a biblical discussion on life's purpose and meaning, beginning with God and His reasons for creating us. (By God and for God.) It's a pretty good read.
We find fulfillment in serving God, and one of those means is by serving others. Matthew 25:40 says, this about service to others, "And the King shall answer and say unto them, 'Truly I say unto you, inasmuch as much as you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.'" That means if I choose to act selfishly or unfairly or spitefully, etc. towards an individual, I have done it unto Christ. If I treat others with kindness and generocity and patience, etc. I have done it unto Christ. I need this reminder more often.
It is comforting to know that God's purpose for me rises far above my weaknesses and inadequacies. Otherwise the moment God saved me He might as well have taken me to heaven right then and there, because I would be no use to Him on my own down here! But that is exactly why I AM still here. God wouldn't be cruel enough to leave His children in this sin-infested war zone (physically AND spiritually) just to torture us. No--I must live for something greater than this world, than living for myself.
That's why I must utilize each new day He gives me to serve God and His purposes. Just to know that my life has the potential to count for eternity gives me teriffic motivation to strive toward accomplishing whatever God places in front of me. Whether that be sharing the message of Christ to those whom He loves, whether that be visiting the elderly in nursing facilities, donating money to the poor, or merely wiping the runny nose of a five-year-old little boy...it is an honor and a joy to serve the Lord. If it's not, it should be. Whenever I find my task undesirable and NOT joyful, I have to readjust my attitude: Am I really serving Him or am I serving myself? Am I living for this life or living for the one to come? Once I come to grips with my purpose on this earth, life instantly takes on a whole new perspective.
Wednesday, June 9, 2004
President Reagan
Although I don't support any particular political party, I do support those who have been given leadership roles. God is still sovereign through all of that. Shortly after former President Reagan died, I decided to record my thoughts concerning the first president I can remember as a child.
*****
I know everyone has made comments concerning the death of President Reagan, but I thought I would share my thoughts as well. I was deeply touched by the events of last week. Reagan was a great leader...
I got to watch President Reagan's funeral on T.V. yesterday. I saw part of the morning cathedral ceremony (between games of Spongebob Uno and pitching ball to the kids, that is). I saw all of the sunset burial service, which was interesting.
At first I wondered, though--how many tributes does one man need, anyway? My intention is not disrespectful, but my first thought was--SENSATIONALISM. I admit I wondered if a lot of the emotional and repeated news coverage was in light of the upcoming presidential election? I'm sure I'm not the only one who wondered about that. If it's true, it's wrong. I mean, here's Reagan, a good Republican, and he seems to have died just in the nick of time. I'm not trying to be ugly, but ya know? That's how the media works a lot of the time. Maybe it's just me...or maybe it's the fact that Nixon, the last president to pass on before, although it is understandable, he certainly did not receive such tribute as Reagan has.
I was too little to remember a lot about Reagan, other than what I've since read, but I know he contributed plenty to this nation. The end of the Cold War, the anti-communist campaigns for the Soviet Union, etc. He was an honest man with a unique charismatic relationship with the people, which has yet to be duplicated. I guess I have come to the conclusion that, whether or not it was a plug for the Republican party, the tribute he received is the way it is supposed to be! It's all about HONOR and RESPECT, and that's what I saw on T.V. last night. I don't know if you get American reception on T.V. where you are at, but I heard it said that there were a couple Arab stations that aired the ceremonies. Whoever watched will have gotten to see how Americans treat their fallen. It's a powerful statement, nonetheless.
I don't know why it has never hit me before, but watching the military pomp and ceremonial drills during the funeral made me think of what it might be like in heaven. I mean, President Reagan deserved to be saluted and honored, if not for all the good he accomplished on the behalf of this nation and world, but because of his position--who he was; namely, President of the United States of America. That's an honorable title! That means we continued to give respect even to President Clinton, despite his wrongdoings for the very fact that he was the leader of our country! The Bible tells us we need to obey those in authority over us, EVEN if they fail and make poor choices. They have received that authority, and for that reason alone we must obey them.
It's the same way with Almighty God, is it not? Certainly we know that God is holy and just and righteous in all His acts. He never makes mistakes and uses His infinte wisdom and power to carry out His perfect will. We do not have to question His actions. But for the very fact that God is GOD should cause us to fall prostrate to the ground in humble reverence and respect. It is because of WHO HE IS that we must worship Him and offer Him praise. God is the Creator and sustainer of the universe, He is infinite and all-knowing! He is the perfect example of love, and that attribute radiates from the fact that He designed the redemption process even before the creation of those who would reject that plan. Such amazing love in itself is reason enough for worship. A God that is entirely loving and yet entirely just at the same time deserves far more honor than a fallen president could ever receive. Even if God chose to never save a soul, He would still be worthy of honor.
My favorite part of the the ceremonies yesterday was the music. The Army band and the Army choir. It was incredible to hear "Hail to the Chief" and "Amazing Grace" and "Taps" and all the sights and sounds of the cannons and gun shots, the voices, the trumpets, the bag pipes, the perfectly timed steps of the military pall-barers--it just takes your breath away! I mean I got goosebumps from my head to my toes!
That is something all of the servicemen seem to understand better than the rest of us civilians: the true meaning of honor and respect. I was just overcome with the thought that if the band and choir sounds this good here on earth--and for a human national leader--I can hardly fathom what the ceremony will be like in Glory! The great Praise and Worship service in the literal presence of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords!! I love that old gospel song, "When All of God's Singers Get Home" because it speaks of that amazing fact that ALL of us are crucial voices in the saints' choir. We will ALL get to join in the ultimate tribute to the ultimate Leader. And we will not be wearing black or holding hankies. We will not be paying our respects to the death of a great man...we will be celebrating the awesome greatness of our LIVING Savior! Now THAT will render us breathless!
There was a lot of referencing to the fact that Reagan was a "privately but very deeply religious" man. Both Bush Sr. and Jr. alluded to this, as well as Reagan's son, Michael, who is an openly born-again Christian. (Actually, I caught the tail end of a previously recorded interview between Michael Reagan and Dr. James Dobson yesterday on "Focus On the Family" radio. The recording had to be at least a couple years old.) Anyway, I was taken aback (but probably shouldn't have been) when Reagan's son Ron mentioned that his father "didn't wear his faith on his sleeve the way certain politicians do today." I about had a fit if he weas referring to President Bush! (However, I have just read into his speech too much...but it sounded like a political statement to me.) If Reagan was a Christan, that's great, but if anyone is offended by Bush's outspoken faith, that's their problem. This was a funeral, for goodness sake.... Personally, I would much rather have a man in the oval office who seeks the face of God daily and prays not only for his allies, but for his enemies as well (whether in public OR private, that's not what matters) than one who doesn't. I'd rather have a President who askes for Divine wisdom rather than a President who bases his decisions on his own wisdom and discernment. (I am speaking hypothetically, of course!)
I don't want to get all political now.....but I guess it's too late, huh! LOL Call me bi-partisan, if you like. I believe there are pros and cons with both parties, but quote me on this: I will ALWAYS side with godliness, morality, and integrity!
"I don't know anything about politics...but that's never stopped me from having an opinion..." -Mark Lowry (Isn't that the truth for the majority of the American people?!)
I really enjoyed listening to the eulogies of Reagan's children. I love hearing stories about the TRUE family life of public figures--from the firsthand source. Otherwise you don't know which rumors to believe anymore! A couple years back I read the book of compiled love letters Reagan wrote his wife over the years. He was an extremely deep man. Yet after funerals like that I have to swiftly turn off the T.V. because I tend to cry at just about anything sentimental like that! I have to snap myself back to reality. It IS sad--but life goes on. The important thing is that if Reagan indeed trusted Christ in his lifetime, then what our current president said is true--no longer does he see through a glass darkly, but he is viewing for the first time and with the clearest vision the very face of teh Lamb slain for his redemption. He sees his Savior face to face and is more himself than he has ever been before. It's party time!!!
Can you imagine where this nation would be had Reagan's assassination been successful...if that bullet had inched any closer to his heart and if his funeral had instead been 23 years ago?? Even he himself recognized that he had been spared for God's reasons, and he intended to carry out whatever it was he was called to do. It amazes me how just one single person has the potential for affecting an entire nation--or even world--positively OR negatively. Then I am amazed that such individuals are not limited to those in the presidency or public eye. They include each of us...they include you and me.
When you were little, did your parents ever teach you to give an automatic response to a question they posed, so to show off your "brilliance" whenever in the presence of relatives? Like, they would teach you to spell "Mississippi" even though you couldn't yet read, let alone did you understand what it meant! Or they would make you spew the correct answer to some difficult mathematical question to the pride of your math teacher uncle (and I had one!). Things like that. Well, when I was two years old my dad would always ask me the same two questions whenever we would visit my aunt and uncle. He would say, "Tara, whose favorite food is...peanuts?" to which I'd smile and screech, "JIMMY CARTER!" Then he would say, "Whose favorite food is...jelly beans?" and before he could say the word "beans" I'd belt out, "RONNIE REAGAN!" My aunt, apparently, got a kick out of that. I hardly even remembered it! My dad reminded me last night.
Ya know, we hear the word "hero" a lot these days. "So-and-so" was a hero for overcoming cancer. "So-and-so" was a hero for capturing Sadam Hussein. "So-and-so" was a hero for his bravery on 9-11. "So-and-so was a hero for sacrificing his life on an Iraqi battlefield. What does that word mean, anyway? What does it reflect about a person? Well, after pondering its usage, trying to come up with a definition, a particular Scripture came to mind. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me." Because empowering strength comes from God, then ultimately, HE gets the glory for any "heroic" act achieved by an individual. So to say somebody is a hero is to say they fulfilled a task they were called to carry out by drawing their strength from God. Otherwise, I suppose, it's just a term of vanity. Who are we but earthen vessels...
Since we have heard from numerous eulogies on Reagan's life, it is clear that his strength lay in the arms of his powerful God. In that vein, we salute him as a hero.
*****
I know everyone has made comments concerning the death of President Reagan, but I thought I would share my thoughts as well. I was deeply touched by the events of last week. Reagan was a great leader...
I got to watch President Reagan's funeral on T.V. yesterday. I saw part of the morning cathedral ceremony (between games of Spongebob Uno and pitching ball to the kids, that is). I saw all of the sunset burial service, which was interesting.
At first I wondered, though--how many tributes does one man need, anyway? My intention is not disrespectful, but my first thought was--SENSATIONALISM. I admit I wondered if a lot of the emotional and repeated news coverage was in light of the upcoming presidential election? I'm sure I'm not the only one who wondered about that. If it's true, it's wrong. I mean, here's Reagan, a good Republican, and he seems to have died just in the nick of time. I'm not trying to be ugly, but ya know? That's how the media works a lot of the time. Maybe it's just me...or maybe it's the fact that Nixon, the last president to pass on before, although it is understandable, he certainly did not receive such tribute as Reagan has.
I was too little to remember a lot about Reagan, other than what I've since read, but I know he contributed plenty to this nation. The end of the Cold War, the anti-communist campaigns for the Soviet Union, etc. He was an honest man with a unique charismatic relationship with the people, which has yet to be duplicated. I guess I have come to the conclusion that, whether or not it was a plug for the Republican party, the tribute he received is the way it is supposed to be! It's all about HONOR and RESPECT, and that's what I saw on T.V. last night. I don't know if you get American reception on T.V. where you are at, but I heard it said that there were a couple Arab stations that aired the ceremonies. Whoever watched will have gotten to see how Americans treat their fallen. It's a powerful statement, nonetheless.
I don't know why it has never hit me before, but watching the military pomp and ceremonial drills during the funeral made me think of what it might be like in heaven. I mean, President Reagan deserved to be saluted and honored, if not for all the good he accomplished on the behalf of this nation and world, but because of his position--who he was; namely, President of the United States of America. That's an honorable title! That means we continued to give respect even to President Clinton, despite his wrongdoings for the very fact that he was the leader of our country! The Bible tells us we need to obey those in authority over us, EVEN if they fail and make poor choices. They have received that authority, and for that reason alone we must obey them.
It's the same way with Almighty God, is it not? Certainly we know that God is holy and just and righteous in all His acts. He never makes mistakes and uses His infinte wisdom and power to carry out His perfect will. We do not have to question His actions. But for the very fact that God is GOD should cause us to fall prostrate to the ground in humble reverence and respect. It is because of WHO HE IS that we must worship Him and offer Him praise. God is the Creator and sustainer of the universe, He is infinite and all-knowing! He is the perfect example of love, and that attribute radiates from the fact that He designed the redemption process even before the creation of those who would reject that plan. Such amazing love in itself is reason enough for worship. A God that is entirely loving and yet entirely just at the same time deserves far more honor than a fallen president could ever receive. Even if God chose to never save a soul, He would still be worthy of honor.
My favorite part of the the ceremonies yesterday was the music. The Army band and the Army choir. It was incredible to hear "Hail to the Chief" and "Amazing Grace" and "Taps" and all the sights and sounds of the cannons and gun shots, the voices, the trumpets, the bag pipes, the perfectly timed steps of the military pall-barers--it just takes your breath away! I mean I got goosebumps from my head to my toes!
That is something all of the servicemen seem to understand better than the rest of us civilians: the true meaning of honor and respect. I was just overcome with the thought that if the band and choir sounds this good here on earth--and for a human national leader--I can hardly fathom what the ceremony will be like in Glory! The great Praise and Worship service in the literal presence of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords!! I love that old gospel song, "When All of God's Singers Get Home" because it speaks of that amazing fact that ALL of us are crucial voices in the saints' choir. We will ALL get to join in the ultimate tribute to the ultimate Leader. And we will not be wearing black or holding hankies. We will not be paying our respects to the death of a great man...we will be celebrating the awesome greatness of our LIVING Savior! Now THAT will render us breathless!
There was a lot of referencing to the fact that Reagan was a "privately but very deeply religious" man. Both Bush Sr. and Jr. alluded to this, as well as Reagan's son, Michael, who is an openly born-again Christian. (Actually, I caught the tail end of a previously recorded interview between Michael Reagan and Dr. James Dobson yesterday on "Focus On the Family" radio. The recording had to be at least a couple years old.) Anyway, I was taken aback (but probably shouldn't have been) when Reagan's son Ron mentioned that his father "didn't wear his faith on his sleeve the way certain politicians do today." I about had a fit if he weas referring to President Bush! (However, I have just read into his speech too much...but it sounded like a political statement to me.) If Reagan was a Christan, that's great, but if anyone is offended by Bush's outspoken faith, that's their problem. This was a funeral, for goodness sake.... Personally, I would much rather have a man in the oval office who seeks the face of God daily and prays not only for his allies, but for his enemies as well (whether in public OR private, that's not what matters) than one who doesn't. I'd rather have a President who askes for Divine wisdom rather than a President who bases his decisions on his own wisdom and discernment. (I am speaking hypothetically, of course!)
I don't want to get all political now.....but I guess it's too late, huh! LOL Call me bi-partisan, if you like. I believe there are pros and cons with both parties, but quote me on this: I will ALWAYS side with godliness, morality, and integrity!
"I don't know anything about politics...but that's never stopped me from having an opinion..." -Mark Lowry (Isn't that the truth for the majority of the American people?!)
I really enjoyed listening to the eulogies of Reagan's children. I love hearing stories about the TRUE family life of public figures--from the firsthand source. Otherwise you don't know which rumors to believe anymore! A couple years back I read the book of compiled love letters Reagan wrote his wife over the years. He was an extremely deep man. Yet after funerals like that I have to swiftly turn off the T.V. because I tend to cry at just about anything sentimental like that! I have to snap myself back to reality. It IS sad--but life goes on. The important thing is that if Reagan indeed trusted Christ in his lifetime, then what our current president said is true--no longer does he see through a glass darkly, but he is viewing for the first time and with the clearest vision the very face of teh Lamb slain for his redemption. He sees his Savior face to face and is more himself than he has ever been before. It's party time!!!
Can you imagine where this nation would be had Reagan's assassination been successful...if that bullet had inched any closer to his heart and if his funeral had instead been 23 years ago?? Even he himself recognized that he had been spared for God's reasons, and he intended to carry out whatever it was he was called to do. It amazes me how just one single person has the potential for affecting an entire nation--or even world--positively OR negatively. Then I am amazed that such individuals are not limited to those in the presidency or public eye. They include each of us...they include you and me.
When you were little, did your parents ever teach you to give an automatic response to a question they posed, so to show off your "brilliance" whenever in the presence of relatives? Like, they would teach you to spell "Mississippi" even though you couldn't yet read, let alone did you understand what it meant! Or they would make you spew the correct answer to some difficult mathematical question to the pride of your math teacher uncle (and I had one!). Things like that. Well, when I was two years old my dad would always ask me the same two questions whenever we would visit my aunt and uncle. He would say, "Tara, whose favorite food is...peanuts?" to which I'd smile and screech, "JIMMY CARTER!" Then he would say, "Whose favorite food is...jelly beans?" and before he could say the word "beans" I'd belt out, "RONNIE REAGAN!" My aunt, apparently, got a kick out of that. I hardly even remembered it! My dad reminded me last night.
Ya know, we hear the word "hero" a lot these days. "So-and-so" was a hero for overcoming cancer. "So-and-so" was a hero for capturing Sadam Hussein. "So-and-so" was a hero for his bravery on 9-11. "So-and-so was a hero for sacrificing his life on an Iraqi battlefield. What does that word mean, anyway? What does it reflect about a person? Well, after pondering its usage, trying to come up with a definition, a particular Scripture came to mind. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me." Because empowering strength comes from God, then ultimately, HE gets the glory for any "heroic" act achieved by an individual. So to say somebody is a hero is to say they fulfilled a task they were called to carry out by drawing their strength from God. Otherwise, I suppose, it's just a term of vanity. Who are we but earthen vessels...
Since we have heard from numerous eulogies on Reagan's life, it is clear that his strength lay in the arms of his powerful God. In that vein, we salute him as a hero.
Thursday, June 3, 2004
"June 3rd Pickle"
More adventures in nanny-land!
School's out! ...I'm not quite sure what to make of that fact yet. Going from the care of just one child during the day and then and all of a sudden transitioning to three, I have a feeling I'm going to get triple the exercise! One thing I've noticed about the littlest, Adam is that I've got him tied around my finger. When I tell him to do something, all I have to do is mention his "Good Job Jar" (marble incentive) and he obeys. That is, only when he is JUST with me. When he is around his more outspoken and defiant older brothers, he becomes one with them. He's a perfect angel one minute and a little turd the next! Something tells me I'm going to have to set some strict guidelines and develop greater structure, now that summer's here. Routine, discipline, and flexibility! Unfortunately, since kids do thrive off routine, I know the discipline and especially flexibility issues may just pose an incredible challenge to me, the caregiver! But I'm ready! grrrr!
The boys are over at a friend's house right now, which NEVER happens. Usually the entire neighborhood meets over here. The Sweeney's have the only flat driveway on the block with a basketball hoop. I feel like a daycare service sometimes! So this brief moment of serenity is to be enjoyed.
We have a couple "pet" squirrels that live in our yard. Once in the early spring we dumped some old, stale nuts onto the ground and they were gone before we could shut the door, it seemed. Since then the boys have been tossing them peanuts every couple days or so. One squirrel has even come close to taking them right out of our hands! Those things can be annoying, but they are fun to watch when they come close and lean their paws up against the window--I can see them now as I look out the sliding door. They beg just like puppies! I suppose they'll starve to death once our stash of peanuts runs out! lol
It's Adam's birthday today--June 3rd. We made him a "pickle" cake last night. Now, don't wrinkle your nose, it's just a German chocolate cake with green frosting, cut in the shape of a pickle. The meaning behind the decor is that last year Adam received a card in the shape of a giant pickle for his birthday. Ever since then whenever anyone asks when his birthday is, without skipping a beat he declares, "JUNE 3RD PICKLE!" I think he was a little bummed because at first he thought we were going to use the green frosting to make a "Shrek" cake!
Oh yeah, and speaking of Shrek--2, anyhow, I made a big mistake. Adam finished his marble jar last week and so for his prize I took him to see a movie--THAT movie. It's a good thing preschoolers are still naive when it comes to subtle (well, and sometimes NOT so subtle) cinematic "adult humor". I'm sure you saw the first Shrek. Even some of the content in that movie ruffled my tail feathers, mainly for the fact that it is a CARTOON, for goodness sake! If the industry is going to put that kind of stuff in movies in general, that's their problem. But just don't make it appealing to kids using animation! That's wrong! It's cunning and clever and money making, but it's wrong! I will spare the details, but I will just say that I'm certainly glad Adam doesn't know what a "thong" is! Good grief...
Where was I going, anyway?? Adam's birthday... Oh, the bliss to be 5 again! Trouble is, we didn't realize how easy we had it back then. Everything was a free ride and we had no idea! Someday those boys will have to get them a job. And I'm sorry, it ain't gonna be replacing Torey Hunter for the Twins! LOL Where did the years go, anyway? Five years old seems like a blink of an eye away. Aaron commented last night (yesterday being his final day of school) that 2nd grade was the fastest year he'd ever been in school. Each year hastens the one before it, so it seems. That's because when we were 5, one year approximated exactly one fifth of our entire life! I know this year for me is going by quickly. I will have to say goodbye to the Sweeney boys in August. That will be hard.
School's out! ...I'm not quite sure what to make of that fact yet. Going from the care of just one child during the day and then and all of a sudden transitioning to three, I have a feeling I'm going to get triple the exercise! One thing I've noticed about the littlest, Adam is that I've got him tied around my finger. When I tell him to do something, all I have to do is mention his "Good Job Jar" (marble incentive) and he obeys. That is, only when he is JUST with me. When he is around his more outspoken and defiant older brothers, he becomes one with them. He's a perfect angel one minute and a little turd the next! Something tells me I'm going to have to set some strict guidelines and develop greater structure, now that summer's here. Routine, discipline, and flexibility! Unfortunately, since kids do thrive off routine, I know the discipline and especially flexibility issues may just pose an incredible challenge to me, the caregiver! But I'm ready! grrrr!
The boys are over at a friend's house right now, which NEVER happens. Usually the entire neighborhood meets over here. The Sweeney's have the only flat driveway on the block with a basketball hoop. I feel like a daycare service sometimes! So this brief moment of serenity is to be enjoyed.
We have a couple "pet" squirrels that live in our yard. Once in the early spring we dumped some old, stale nuts onto the ground and they were gone before we could shut the door, it seemed. Since then the boys have been tossing them peanuts every couple days or so. One squirrel has even come close to taking them right out of our hands! Those things can be annoying, but they are fun to watch when they come close and lean their paws up against the window--I can see them now as I look out the sliding door. They beg just like puppies! I suppose they'll starve to death once our stash of peanuts runs out! lol
It's Adam's birthday today--June 3rd. We made him a "pickle" cake last night. Now, don't wrinkle your nose, it's just a German chocolate cake with green frosting, cut in the shape of a pickle. The meaning behind the decor is that last year Adam received a card in the shape of a giant pickle for his birthday. Ever since then whenever anyone asks when his birthday is, without skipping a beat he declares, "JUNE 3RD PICKLE!" I think he was a little bummed because at first he thought we were going to use the green frosting to make a "Shrek" cake!
Oh yeah, and speaking of Shrek--2, anyhow, I made a big mistake. Adam finished his marble jar last week and so for his prize I took him to see a movie--THAT movie. It's a good thing preschoolers are still naive when it comes to subtle (well, and sometimes NOT so subtle) cinematic "adult humor". I'm sure you saw the first Shrek. Even some of the content in that movie ruffled my tail feathers, mainly for the fact that it is a CARTOON, for goodness sake! If the industry is going to put that kind of stuff in movies in general, that's their problem. But just don't make it appealing to kids using animation! That's wrong! It's cunning and clever and money making, but it's wrong! I will spare the details, but I will just say that I'm certainly glad Adam doesn't know what a "thong" is! Good grief...
Where was I going, anyway?? Adam's birthday... Oh, the bliss to be 5 again! Trouble is, we didn't realize how easy we had it back then. Everything was a free ride and we had no idea! Someday those boys will have to get them a job. And I'm sorry, it ain't gonna be replacing Torey Hunter for the Twins! LOL Where did the years go, anyway? Five years old seems like a blink of an eye away. Aaron commented last night (yesterday being his final day of school) that 2nd grade was the fastest year he'd ever been in school. Each year hastens the one before it, so it seems. That's because when we were 5, one year approximated exactly one fifth of our entire life! I know this year for me is going by quickly. I will have to say goodbye to the Sweeney boys in August. That will be hard.
Tuesday, April 6, 2004
Restless
Thoughts from a restless heart, almost a year after graduating college. I was currently working as a live-in nanny for three boys in Minnesota.
*****
It's one of those nights when I want to do a million different things, but I just don't have the emotional strength to do anything else but listen to my Marty Goetz CD and write in here. Yet now I don't even know if I want to do that. I just want to crawl into bed and get a good rest.
God has been drawing me closer to Him lately. It's painful and refreshing at the same time. I crave His fellowship, His comfort, His presence SO much, but it almost feels overwhelming to try and maintain a relationship with one so holy. I have MUCH of my life to work on. And I fail daily. But it's not God's fault, it's mine. It's me indirectly telling Him that I want my other gods more than I want Him. Yet there are times that I have ups and downs with human relationshiops--parents, brother, friends, and others. I start out with a season when I put all my energy into the person, whoever it is, and then when I get physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually exhausted, I dwindle. It goes from everything to nothing, all for entirely selfish reasons, as I can reasonably evaluate.
Inconsistency seems to be the story of my life. The only thing that is consistent is that I thrive off a single-task life. I shudder at the thought of having to multi-task. That's probably why I get frustrated with the Sweeney boys if they need help while I'm sweeping the floor. Or if one of them makes a huge mess while I'm working with one of the other boys. I feel like I have to stop what I'm doing and fix the mess before I can continue. Interruptions throw me off BIG time.
I think it's the same way with people and the events surrounding my relationships. Only if it is convenient, will I put my heart and soul into showering my attention, care, and concern on those I love. If I get busy with a new project, or if I meet a new friend, another relationship might be quickly put on the back-burner. It is hard for me to give equal attention to each person that crosses my path, no matter how much I want to. It usually makes me sound like I'm saying, "I still like you, but please take a number and get in line. If you're lucky, you'll get a Christmas card this year."
I'm extremely convicted about this—-well, of course I am, or I wouldn't be going into it at such length. I do realize that GOD is not partial like that. He has millions of people simultaneously talking to Him all day long, and yet He gives undivided attention to and time for each individual whenever they want. Amazing. I understand that He is all-powerful Deity, but the concept is true. If God can give me His full attention at the drop of a hat, surely I can be there for the people in my life. Even when I think I can't make the time or when I don't feel like it. I certainly would want all of them to be there for me when I need them.
I figure if my relationship with God is on a steady course, then perhaps my relationships with others wouldn't suffer so. Because God is so faithful to me, I need to be faithful to others. And, most importantly, faithful to God.
*****
It's one of those nights when I want to do a million different things, but I just don't have the emotional strength to do anything else but listen to my Marty Goetz CD and write in here. Yet now I don't even know if I want to do that. I just want to crawl into bed and get a good rest.
God has been drawing me closer to Him lately. It's painful and refreshing at the same time. I crave His fellowship, His comfort, His presence SO much, but it almost feels overwhelming to try and maintain a relationship with one so holy. I have MUCH of my life to work on. And I fail daily. But it's not God's fault, it's mine. It's me indirectly telling Him that I want my other gods more than I want Him. Yet there are times that I have ups and downs with human relationshiops--parents, brother, friends, and others. I start out with a season when I put all my energy into the person, whoever it is, and then when I get physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually exhausted, I dwindle. It goes from everything to nothing, all for entirely selfish reasons, as I can reasonably evaluate.
Inconsistency seems to be the story of my life. The only thing that is consistent is that I thrive off a single-task life. I shudder at the thought of having to multi-task. That's probably why I get frustrated with the Sweeney boys if they need help while I'm sweeping the floor. Or if one of them makes a huge mess while I'm working with one of the other boys. I feel like I have to stop what I'm doing and fix the mess before I can continue. Interruptions throw me off BIG time.
I think it's the same way with people and the events surrounding my relationships. Only if it is convenient, will I put my heart and soul into showering my attention, care, and concern on those I love. If I get busy with a new project, or if I meet a new friend, another relationship might be quickly put on the back-burner. It is hard for me to give equal attention to each person that crosses my path, no matter how much I want to. It usually makes me sound like I'm saying, "I still like you, but please take a number and get in line. If you're lucky, you'll get a Christmas card this year."
I'm extremely convicted about this—-well, of course I am, or I wouldn't be going into it at such length. I do realize that GOD is not partial like that. He has millions of people simultaneously talking to Him all day long, and yet He gives undivided attention to and time for each individual whenever they want. Amazing. I understand that He is all-powerful Deity, but the concept is true. If God can give me His full attention at the drop of a hat, surely I can be there for the people in my life. Even when I think I can't make the time or when I don't feel like it. I certainly would want all of them to be there for me when I need them.
I figure if my relationship with God is on a steady course, then perhaps my relationships with others wouldn't suffer so. Because God is so faithful to me, I need to be faithful to others. And, most importantly, faithful to God.
Saturday, April 3, 2004
Passion Ponderings
This was my response after watching "The Passion of the Christ" when it first came to theaters.
*****
My viewing of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" left me with a deeper, richer understanding of the great price Christ paid to extend salvation to the spiritually dead. A higher appreciation for the sacrifice it took to remove the barriers of sin and grant mankind access to a holy and righteous God.
My post-movie reaction was one of amazement that my Savior would not concede, but CHOOSE to endure such barbarous torture and abuse for the sake of evil-hearted, self-seeking individuals, all of whom are sinners of equal measure, and of whose existence spans every racial, generational, and geographic category; past, present, and future.
The concept that struck me with even greater intensity is that within God's vast and incomprehensible redemptive plan, He saw it pleasing and purposeful to include ME. The passion--or suffering--of Jesus Christ was not merely a result of a cruel injustice that might evoke within the heart of the viewer a sense of compassion or sympathy toward the undeserving victim, but to a recipient and beneficiator of the forgiveness and grace of His shed blood, the passion very personally demonstrates the ultimate act of Christ's sacrificial love.
Yes, it is true that Jesus suffered such physical, emotional, and spiritual affliction in general, on behalf of all mankind and, efficatiously (specifically), to all who will accept Him. Yet it is the responsibility of every believer to realize HIS OWN virtual participation in the process of His death. It was I who hammered the nails into Christ's hands and feet. At the same time, it was also I who became His victorious reward for those same nails.
Every agony He endured--every insult, every mocking, every lashing, every piercing, every step up Calvary's hill--was for me.
Pointing fingers at specific "Christ killers" or generalizing the fault of His death to the whole world certainly holds a sense of credibility. Also, we must recall that Christ's death was in God's redemptive plan long before the foundations of the world. The people who killed Him were actually carrying out God's will, whether they knew it or not! However, by neglecting to personalize the passion of Jesus, I diminish my vicarious presence among them. For them it was a physical act; for me, it was spiritual. MY SIN was inflicting Jesus during those agonizing twelve hours.
I need to spot my form among the merciless Jewish crowd, demanding crucifiction. I need to trace my name carved into His horribly beaten back at the scuring block. And at the foot of the brutal Roman cross, I must force myself to listen for my own voice sneering at the sight of His bloody, broken body.
I was there...no more than anyone else, no less than if I was alone.
Somehow--through the grief and pain that I caused the only begotten Son of Almighty God--it was my very presence fixed to the mind and heart of Jesus that eventually led Him to extend a most precious verbal expression of love, "Father, forgive them...."
The weight of my sins alone should have caused the cross to sink to the deepest dwelling of hell, but before that could happen, Jesus uttered three mighty words, "It is finished!"
*****
My viewing of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" left me with a deeper, richer understanding of the great price Christ paid to extend salvation to the spiritually dead. A higher appreciation for the sacrifice it took to remove the barriers of sin and grant mankind access to a holy and righteous God.
My post-movie reaction was one of amazement that my Savior would not concede, but CHOOSE to endure such barbarous torture and abuse for the sake of evil-hearted, self-seeking individuals, all of whom are sinners of equal measure, and of whose existence spans every racial, generational, and geographic category; past, present, and future.
The concept that struck me with even greater intensity is that within God's vast and incomprehensible redemptive plan, He saw it pleasing and purposeful to include ME. The passion--or suffering--of Jesus Christ was not merely a result of a cruel injustice that might evoke within the heart of the viewer a sense of compassion or sympathy toward the undeserving victim, but to a recipient and beneficiator of the forgiveness and grace of His shed blood, the passion very personally demonstrates the ultimate act of Christ's sacrificial love.
Yes, it is true that Jesus suffered such physical, emotional, and spiritual affliction in general, on behalf of all mankind and, efficatiously (specifically), to all who will accept Him. Yet it is the responsibility of every believer to realize HIS OWN virtual participation in the process of His death. It was I who hammered the nails into Christ's hands and feet. At the same time, it was also I who became His victorious reward for those same nails.
Every agony He endured--every insult, every mocking, every lashing, every piercing, every step up Calvary's hill--was for me.
Pointing fingers at specific "Christ killers" or generalizing the fault of His death to the whole world certainly holds a sense of credibility. Also, we must recall that Christ's death was in God's redemptive plan long before the foundations of the world. The people who killed Him were actually carrying out God's will, whether they knew it or not! However, by neglecting to personalize the passion of Jesus, I diminish my vicarious presence among them. For them it was a physical act; for me, it was spiritual. MY SIN was inflicting Jesus during those agonizing twelve hours.
I need to spot my form among the merciless Jewish crowd, demanding crucifiction. I need to trace my name carved into His horribly beaten back at the scuring block. And at the foot of the brutal Roman cross, I must force myself to listen for my own voice sneering at the sight of His bloody, broken body.
I was there...no more than anyone else, no less than if I was alone.
Somehow--through the grief and pain that I caused the only begotten Son of Almighty God--it was my very presence fixed to the mind and heart of Jesus that eventually led Him to extend a most precious verbal expression of love, "Father, forgive them...."
The weight of my sins alone should have caused the cross to sink to the deepest dwelling of hell, but before that could happen, Jesus uttered three mighty words, "It is finished!"
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