We will grieve with HOPE

Ok, I'm just going to write, and if the phone interrupts my concentration, so be it. I'm one of those writers who needs absolute peace and quiet in order to process and organize my thoughts. At my job I sit in a lonely little room at a computer all day (4 and 7 hour shifts) and hardly ever take advantage of this utmost potential blog time ever - simply because I still get flustered when the phone rings. Why get all into the "zone" if you're just going to suffer a heart attack because while you were blogging you forgot that you were still at work and not in La La Blog Land!

I've been stalking blogs all morning because I have not received one call in the last 4+ hours! I could have crafted a masterpiece within that time frame and even had time to edit, for pete's sake!

I digress...









No news from Minnesota. Jeromy and I spoke with my dad a couple nights ago, and he sounded really ill. We always hope for a conversation with some depth, but regardless of what might be going on in his heart, all we hear is the gloom-and-doom. Jeromy has offered several times, "You have a lot to look forward to, Gary." Meaning, that he is closer than ever to finally being with Christ and experiencing the glory of Heaven with His loved ones - including his parents whom he each led to the Lord on their own death beds! Sometimes he just kind of mumbles a reply of, "Yeah..." but during that last conversation all he said was, "Not in this life."

It breaks our hearts so much to see him hold on to this world, when we have known him to be such an openly spiritual man otherwise. This has got to be an immense test of faith for him, and it makes ourselves desire to get to that "place" of contentment and trust in God's plan long before we face death square in the eye like my dad is. We want to learn this resting in Christ now.

Our conversation ended, reluctantly, brief. The nurses had brought in my dad's supper, and that is the worst time of day for him. Lately his daily consumption has consisted of only a small dish of fruit. Last Friday my mom told us that he is expected to last a week, maybe two. Well, it is already Wednesday. My dad is days, perhaps hours, or even breaths away from Eternity.

All of this leaves me so, so torn. I am both anxious for the end of his suffering, and devastated for the imminent loss of my father.

I tried calling him this morning on the way to work but there was no answer. You know what that does to a functioning brain!! I'm sure he was just in the restroom or something. I'll try again later. I have not heard anything from my mom yet today, and she is super good about informing the family (the whole family) about, well, everything.

A couple years ago my dad heard Randy Alcorn speak on the radio. While driving a semi truck regionally for a living usually is wearisome, mundane, and monotonous, my dad was able to spend a lot of time listening to radio preachers and Christian programs most of us 9 to 5ers rarely get to tune into. Alcorn has become most popular for his book called, "Heaven". Dad got it for me for Christmas that year, and that is now kind of ironic. While I read snippets here and there, I didn't really pick up the book until just recently, at a time when the reality of Heaven is especially so close and comforting to our family. When I spent the two weeks in Minnesota last month, I desperately wanted to read him some exerpts from the book so to offer a more eternal perspective. I never did get the chance, although we did watch some of "The Blazing Center" DVD from Desiring God Ministires on Easter Sunday which, I think, significantly penetrated his spirit.

My family has been working on the plans for my dad's eventual memorial service. In his book, Alcorn sites many well-known preachers, including one from D.L. Moody that I would like to print on the cover of the service program:

"Some day you will read in the papers that D.L. Moody of East Northfield, is dead. Don't you believe a word of it! At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now..."

Hallelujah!!! Can we wrap our minds around this truth and live it out?!

"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep" (I Thessalonians 4:13-14, ESV).

Jeromy and I have been working on another project for the service. While staying at my parents' house I went through all the pictures I could find of my dad's life and brought them back to Maryland so we could start scanning them and create a Power Point photo presentation to show at the service. I have picked out two songs to play simultaneously, and I think they fit very well. One is called "Closer to You" by Mark Schultz and the other, "I Commend My Soul" by Scott Krippayne. And, if there is time, I would also like to sprinkle a few relavent verses in between the songs.

I just want everyone present to celebrate and rejoice in my dad's Home-going. I also promise my dad that not one soul will leave the service without having heard the gospel and been given an opportunity to respond. There is absolutely no better way in which to honor my dad's Christ-following legacy than that.


CLOSER TO YOU (click to listen)

Closer to me
I'm tired and I'm weak
And every breath within me is longing just to be
Closer to You
So I face the road ahead
Cause I know there's no comparing
To what's waiting at the end

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm smiling
After all I've been through
It's cause I'm just a day closer to You

Closer to me
I hear You whisper on the wind
You say although my life is ending
A new one will begin
Closer to You
And I know I'm not alone
Cause I can hear You in the distance
Saying, you are nearly home

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm dancing
Though my days may be few
It's cause I'm just a day closer to You

Closer to me
You're in the laughter and the tears
Of the ones I leave behind me
Who have prayed me through the years
Closer to You
And I know it won't be long
Till You're running down the pathway
Just to take me in Your arms

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm singing
Though my life's almost through
It's cause I'm just a day closer
I'm just a day closer
I'm just a day closer to You


*****


I COMMEND MY SOUL (click to listen)

I commend my soul
Into your hands O God
Take all that I am
Take captive every thought
As I lay down my will
Make your mind my own
For all Eternity
I pledge myself to thee
I commend my soul

I commend my soul
Into your care O Lord
Bind this mortal flesh
That I may sin no more
If I am called to die
Prepare me Lord a home
As I go to the grave
My lips will praise your name
I commend my soul

I commend my soul
Into your Heaven's rest
And leave you now my own
To guide and to protect
And as I breathe my last
My spirit now is full
And looking toward the sky
I shout glory to Christ
I commend my soul