Thursday, March 10, 2005

What is Enough?

Some more ponderings from my former Saturday morning coffee shop retreat.

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The Christian life...the true path of blessing, of hope, of meaning, of satisfaction, of peace, of endurance. It is a journey. So often I drift from that path and then wonder why I feel lost, stressed, forgotten, uncertain, misunderstood. The world's detour is just easier. More self-gratifying. Less of a sacrifice. The road signs are flashy and enticing. I tend to forget how cunningly deceiving is the opposition. Satan uses the same old trick on me that worked on Eve, in order to plant doubt in my heart.

I hear the same lines over and over: "Just give up. It's not worth the effort. You'll never please God. How could He use you? You need to fix "this" and "this" and "this", etc. before you can be happy and find fulfillment. All you are is talk. You are a Peter: possessing the right words without actions to back them. You are a Jonah: intimidated by the job and swept up in a comfort zone. You are King Saul: initially humble, but losing site of the task by spending too much time in front of the mirror." His hammerings are relentless...but sometimes I find some truth to them.

Because I know how God works...because I know of His mercy, grace, love, acceptance, and power, I don't doubt that He can use me if He really wants to.Yet, when we simply allow God to use us instead of mounting stress upon our lives by trying to accomplish His work in our own strength, it is miraculous how much easier and simpler the task. Not in the sense that the Christian walk, ministry, and family becomes a piece of cake. But it is only when we surrender our goals and plans to His, does our burden suddenly seem lighter. We find that promise in the pages of God's Word.

I desperately long to please God, to do great things for Him. However, at times that is all the further I get—just a desire, a casual prayer. God wants me to commit at one hundred percent. I tell Him, "I want to do 'this' for You…but can I still have 'this' in my life? Can I get at least SOME of the credit? Can I put aside my other responsibilities while I do this for you? Can I back out if I find I'm not equipped for the job?"

Talk really is cheap. I say I WANT to teach Sunday School to impact young lives for Christ. I WANT to share the gospel with people I have contact with--such as the people I work for. I WANT to involve myself in foreign missions. I WANT to write songs and poems and other Christian writing for God's use. I WANT to memorize more Scripture. I WANT to minister to those hurting or need of encouragement. I WANT to go calling with my church. I WANT to refresh myself with the biblical doctrines I say I believe in and hold to. I WANT to find a Christian avenue for my musical abilities. I WANT to responsibly prepare myself for my future career/ministry. Etc., etc. etc…….

I could go on forever with all the things I WANT to do. I believe that is just why I find myself plainly overwhelmed sometimes. There are literally a thousand ministries I could become involved with, a million "hats" I could wear in regards to service to the Lord. And yet, all God asks of me is to serve Him where He has placed me with the task He has given me to do at THIS MOMENT.

God might not have me lead someone to the Lord today, but He does want me to mirror His image to others and to be a faithful witness. God might not have me venture off to Africa on a missions trip this summer, but He can place certain missionaries on my heart to consistently pray for. I might not become a well-known Christian writer, but God certainly has called me to use my words and lips to praise Him, even if none of it ever reaches paper or another's eye. It is still praise, even which consists merely of fragmented verse and awkward melody simply scripted within the quiet sanctuary of my heart.

God has given me abundant ministry right where I am, along with the capabilities to complete them well. I just need to realize that since I can't do it all, I must still remember to always be faithful to--by Him--do what I can.

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I have been interested in reading books on new methods of personal evangelism lately, and since that started (a span of about 2 months), God literally has NEVER let a weekend go by without putting someone in my path with whom He prompts me to share my faith. Without fail. Sometimes I feel tired or withdrawn, and I pray, "God, I just don't want to witness right now." But he has a way of working through me despite my attitude. For when a spiritual conversation suddenly happens naturally, you KNOW it is ALL GOD.

So far God has brought people to me in coffee shops. My Saturday morning is typically devoted to preparing my Sunday School lesson for the next day, and each time I talk to someone new. I don't go after it or force people to talk with the intent of witnessing to them, but that's what I mean what I say it is the Holy Spirit that does the work. They just start asking me questions, such as for advice or my opinion on something. I just can't explain it. They always come. And only when I sense the Spirit to go deeper into the gospel message do I. Otherwise, I wait for Him.

I have come to believe that people are more relaxed and vulnerable in places like coffee shops, and now I guess in parking lots! When they get away from the pressures of life and are able to sit by themselves, I have found that they are more apt to ask questions about spiritual things. People are much more concerned about their eternal "destiny", if you will, than we think. It's easy to put on a mask. Our hope, when talking with an unsaved individual, is to attempt to make them feel comfortable enough to take off that mask and bare their scars. It is only then are they ready to hear and receive the Truth.

I am reading a book called, "Permission Evangelism" (by Michael L. Simpson), and its contents are making me greatly understand the importance of loving people, respecting their journies, and being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. I HIGHLY recommend that book, as it will change your view on witnessing to others. God has put this as a burden on my heart, and has only made it grow by allowing me to see some of the fruit of heeding Christ's example. The account from today in the parking lot only furthers my belief in the power of the gospel even more.

If we are but willing to be used by God at a moment's notice--if we seek NOT to convert, but to be perceptive to people's needs, to ask questions, and, ultimately, to submit ourselves to the power and leading of the Spirit--God WILL be faithful, and He WILL use us.

God doesn't always bring people along our paths at the most convenient of times, but the Bible says that we are to "be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is within you with meekness and fear" (I Peter 3:15).

ALWAYS be ready. Because God is ALWAYS ready to work through us.

I never understood when people would tell me that sharing their faith was a joyful thing. That's because it always used to be an insurmountable pressure for me. I felt I was required to do it, and when I didn't take the opportunities God placed before me, I felt guilty.

I'm telling you, it's FREEING to allow GOD to do the work, instead of striving on your own, merely out of duty. In fact, it's downright EXCITING to see God revealing Himself through the power of His Spirit. And I am finding that it is even MORE exciting to get to BE A PART of that process!

It's NOT about sharing the entire plan of salvation to every person you see. It's not about street preaching or handing out tracks. It's about OBEYING THE SPIRIT, whether it means witnessing by our conduct, befriending someone down-in-the dumps and allowing them to share their story before you share yours, or, like today, just being "in the right place, at the right time". It's about being available. It's about being real, transparent, gracious, open, non-judgmental, etc. God has given us various personalities for a reason. While I might not be able to reach the next fellow to come along, you might. It's about being yourself.

And really, it's about being humble.