I thought it might be fun and meaningful to post the vows Jeromy and I wrote for each other on our wedding day (8/12/06). We want to get them printed up and framed someday....perhaps on our anniversary! We take these promises seriously. They are for life.
*****
Jeromy's vows to me:
Tara, God has been preparing us for His service from the beginning of time. It is both His gift and my joy to become your husband. I could not have prepared myself for the love God has poured out on me through you.
As your husband, I vow to submit to Christ, for doing His will is our source of life and joy. I commit my life to faithful leadership. As Christ did, I will pour myself out for you. My love, acceptance and encouraging companionship will cultivate your fellowship with God.
I will be your source of strength, unfailing love, and protection. I honor you as my beloved helper. With patience and transparency I will communicate with you. We will celebrate the peaks of life and overcome the struggles, together, as one.
As I am captivated by your love, I will find satisfaction in you alone. Forsaking all others, I will cleave to you alone. I will nourish and cherish you all the days of my life.
Tara, it is before my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and our friends and family that I commit these vows to you. May I bring you good, and not evil, all the days of my life.
*****
My vows to Jeromy:
Jeromy, it is by God's grace and love that I become your wife today, and it is my highest earthly delight! As the Spirit enables me, I will both internalize and live out the vows I commit to you this hour.
Jeromy, you are God's man and His best for me, and so I have chosen and will continually choose to love you. For the rest of my life I will stand by you. I will support, respect, and honor your person and position, submitting myself to your leadership as the head of our family.
I will be for you a source of joy, companionship, and refreshment as I work alongside you to make our life together and our home a Christ-centered haven. I will ever be a safe place where you will find grace, forgiveness, and unconditional acceptance. Preferring you above all others, I will display to you kindness, affection, admiration, and faithfulness. I will work toward a growing communion with God alongside a deepening communication with you, so that at all cost we will remain of like mind and spirit. I will offer my heart openly and honestly to you in all aspects of life and actively seek to meet your needs. It is by God's strength will I bring you good, not evil, all the days of my life, that I might magnify God's glory as your wife.
Jeromy, it is before my Lord and Savior, and before our friends and family that I commit these vows to you.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Jeromy
A tribute to my husband.
*****
Well I just had to say that I am amazed by the man God has given to me. I never fathomed this kind of love, but I continue to discover new avenues of his love for me every day. It turns me to Christ ALWAYS, and I am constantly challenged to love God authentically, to choose to walk in obedience of His Word, and to keep looking outside myself to meet the needs of others before my own.
Jeromy provides a comfort that allows me to share my struggles and speak my heart, without being judged or criticized. He lets me talk through things, even if my words start out selfish or prideful, or fearful. A lot of times I can say the right things, do the right things, think the right things, but when it gets real...when it's time to apply what I know, down to my desires and motives, it's hard. It's not easy to trust God most of the time. Jeromy is encouraging me, usually when he doesn't even know it, to lay it ALL down. To not look back at the "I wish I had..."s and "Woe is me..."s and "I need to be in control of..."s. Life is FILLED with opportunities to trust God.
I had no idea I fell so short in these moments, as I know now. Marriage has exposed my weaknesses, and shown me where my heart is in a lot of different ways. It's not fun to see this stuff. I don't want to be responsible for a lot of prayers I pray for my sanctification. But it's so good. Jeromy's example and his love has led me to break through my hardened heart to let God do some spiritual surgery where it hurts. Where I would otherwise dwell in comfort and safety. Where my actions and words don't match up with my attitudes. Where I let frustration and disappointment get the better of me. Where I need to give Him greater access to roam freely throughout my heart and life. Having Jeromy at my side has been instrumental in my Christian walk. And this was God's idea!
I am SO blessed because this man accepts me! He calls me beautiful when I think and feel otherwise. He can tell when my heart is not right and he doesn't leave me there. He holds me close when I don't know why I'm crying. He has no expectations of me, nor makes demands. His devotion to me alone is found in both his words and actions. If there is any perceived "distance" between us, he gets right to the core, yet loves me through the process. He is always positive. Always encouraging. Never satisfied with a mediocre Christian life. Asks the hard questions and wrestles with them along with me. Truly wants to please God and probes Scripture to find out what that means. Seeks to enjoy the little things in life, while not becoming so stingy as to giving up quality. Jeromy is understanding, and when he doesn't understand, he doesn't give up until he does. He lets me love him and support him in ways my heart longs to give, and he appreciates everything. Jeromy can get me to smile quicker than anyone I know, ever an unsaid reminder of the bigger perspective, by which I already own abundant joy and peace. Jeromy's presence in my life provides a glimpse into how good it can be to live a life sold-out, head-over-heels in love with Jesus. If my husband--limited, made of flesh, and tainted by sin--can bring positive change in my life, imagine how much greater sanctification can take place when I begin to view God for more of who He really is! If only His unconditional love and grace and affection can motivate me in as similar a way as does that of Jeromy.
At this point, I really don't think there is much of a difference between the two, except that whatever God pours on us is perfection. Jeromy gives me amazing love...but God's love is perfect. Jeromy offers me kindness and mercy...God floods our every step with His. And what can be compared to God's comforting embrace, His peace that passes man's capacity to understand? Often I can't describe in words how good it feels to be wrapped up in Jeromy's arms. How much greater is the affection of our Creator God?! We have so few combinations of letters that adequately tell of such intensity. I think it's supposed to be that way. I think God is glorified in that, in our wonder of Him.
And to think--wow!--I am only beginning this journey with my wonderful gift from God. Jeromy and I often remind ourselves that we are never promised tomorrow on this earth, but that we do have today. We have each other for these fleeting moments, and I want to make them last. I hope the fact of my mortality affects everything from how I spend my time, to how much rule I give my emotions, to which life's tasks are worth being concerned about. I want to live this life for what really matters. I want to learn how to give more and just do it. I want to look less at myself in the mirror. I want to love deeply and love well. I want to expect God's faithfulness by letting go of control, letting go of stuff, letting go of man's doctrines and morals, philosophies, and standards. I want to quit comparing myself to others and instead keen in on the personality and gifts God as given me. I want to cry for all the right reasons and refrain from laughing at all the wrong things, although I want to laugh MORE. I want to keep the little irritants little and enlarge the little joys I typically overlook. I want to give God more credit for His work in my heart and in this world, including the credit I too often steal from Him in my arrogance. After all, if I am going to call him "Lord" in my prayers and songs, then He better BE Lord!
I am still on my hands and knees, slowly inching to the places I need to reach, but I am only discouraged when I think about how much farther is the distance. Instead, I want to celebrate the little milestones in my spiritual journey, similar to how Jeormy and I celebrate our first date, first kiss, engagement, and wedding! I am finding more and more parallels between our human relationships and our relationship with the Divine, realizing there is no coincidence. Everything good on this earth points to the heavenly equivalent. We can enjoy these things in our lives, though they are all broken, but they are simultaneously preparing us and causing us to yearn for the whole, the perfect.
I am forever grateful for the brief moments God has bound Jeromy and I together. We both look forward to the day when our union with Christ will bind us with Him for eternity.
Something brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel like it's ok to cry with you
Something about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I've been with God
And that's the way it ought to be
You had faith when I had none
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll
Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it ought to be
Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies
Cause you have spoken the truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh, you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know
You have carried me
You have taken on a burden
That wasn't your own
May the blessing return to you
A hunderedfold
Oh yeah, a hundredfold
- Watermark
*****
Well I just had to say that I am amazed by the man God has given to me. I never fathomed this kind of love, but I continue to discover new avenues of his love for me every day. It turns me to Christ ALWAYS, and I am constantly challenged to love God authentically, to choose to walk in obedience of His Word, and to keep looking outside myself to meet the needs of others before my own.
Jeromy provides a comfort that allows me to share my struggles and speak my heart, without being judged or criticized. He lets me talk through things, even if my words start out selfish or prideful, or fearful. A lot of times I can say the right things, do the right things, think the right things, but when it gets real...when it's time to apply what I know, down to my desires and motives, it's hard. It's not easy to trust God most of the time. Jeromy is encouraging me, usually when he doesn't even know it, to lay it ALL down. To not look back at the "I wish I had..."s and "Woe is me..."s and "I need to be in control of..."s. Life is FILLED with opportunities to trust God.
I had no idea I fell so short in these moments, as I know now. Marriage has exposed my weaknesses, and shown me where my heart is in a lot of different ways. It's not fun to see this stuff. I don't want to be responsible for a lot of prayers I pray for my sanctification. But it's so good. Jeromy's example and his love has led me to break through my hardened heart to let God do some spiritual surgery where it hurts. Where I would otherwise dwell in comfort and safety. Where my actions and words don't match up with my attitudes. Where I let frustration and disappointment get the better of me. Where I need to give Him greater access to roam freely throughout my heart and life. Having Jeromy at my side has been instrumental in my Christian walk. And this was God's idea!
I am SO blessed because this man accepts me! He calls me beautiful when I think and feel otherwise. He can tell when my heart is not right and he doesn't leave me there. He holds me close when I don't know why I'm crying. He has no expectations of me, nor makes demands. His devotion to me alone is found in both his words and actions. If there is any perceived "distance" between us, he gets right to the core, yet loves me through the process. He is always positive. Always encouraging. Never satisfied with a mediocre Christian life. Asks the hard questions and wrestles with them along with me. Truly wants to please God and probes Scripture to find out what that means. Seeks to enjoy the little things in life, while not becoming so stingy as to giving up quality. Jeromy is understanding, and when he doesn't understand, he doesn't give up until he does. He lets me love him and support him in ways my heart longs to give, and he appreciates everything. Jeromy can get me to smile quicker than anyone I know, ever an unsaid reminder of the bigger perspective, by which I already own abundant joy and peace. Jeromy's presence in my life provides a glimpse into how good it can be to live a life sold-out, head-over-heels in love with Jesus. If my husband--limited, made of flesh, and tainted by sin--can bring positive change in my life, imagine how much greater sanctification can take place when I begin to view God for more of who He really is! If only His unconditional love and grace and affection can motivate me in as similar a way as does that of Jeromy.
At this point, I really don't think there is much of a difference between the two, except that whatever God pours on us is perfection. Jeromy gives me amazing love...but God's love is perfect. Jeromy offers me kindness and mercy...God floods our every step with His. And what can be compared to God's comforting embrace, His peace that passes man's capacity to understand? Often I can't describe in words how good it feels to be wrapped up in Jeromy's arms. How much greater is the affection of our Creator God?! We have so few combinations of letters that adequately tell of such intensity. I think it's supposed to be that way. I think God is glorified in that, in our wonder of Him.
And to think--wow!--I am only beginning this journey with my wonderful gift from God. Jeromy and I often remind ourselves that we are never promised tomorrow on this earth, but that we do have today. We have each other for these fleeting moments, and I want to make them last. I hope the fact of my mortality affects everything from how I spend my time, to how much rule I give my emotions, to which life's tasks are worth being concerned about. I want to live this life for what really matters. I want to learn how to give more and just do it. I want to look less at myself in the mirror. I want to love deeply and love well. I want to expect God's faithfulness by letting go of control, letting go of stuff, letting go of man's doctrines and morals, philosophies, and standards. I want to quit comparing myself to others and instead keen in on the personality and gifts God as given me. I want to cry for all the right reasons and refrain from laughing at all the wrong things, although I want to laugh MORE. I want to keep the little irritants little and enlarge the little joys I typically overlook. I want to give God more credit for His work in my heart and in this world, including the credit I too often steal from Him in my arrogance. After all, if I am going to call him "Lord" in my prayers and songs, then He better BE Lord!
I am still on my hands and knees, slowly inching to the places I need to reach, but I am only discouraged when I think about how much farther is the distance. Instead, I want to celebrate the little milestones in my spiritual journey, similar to how Jeormy and I celebrate our first date, first kiss, engagement, and wedding! I am finding more and more parallels between our human relationships and our relationship with the Divine, realizing there is no coincidence. Everything good on this earth points to the heavenly equivalent. We can enjoy these things in our lives, though they are all broken, but they are simultaneously preparing us and causing us to yearn for the whole, the perfect.
I am forever grateful for the brief moments God has bound Jeromy and I together. We both look forward to the day when our union with Christ will bind us with Him for eternity.
Something brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel like it's ok to cry with you
Something about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I've been with God
And that's the way it ought to be
You had faith when I had none
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll
Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it ought to be
Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies
Cause you have spoken the truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh, you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know
You have carried me
You have taken on a burden
That wasn't your own
May the blessing return to you
A hunderedfold
Oh yeah, a hundredfold
- Watermark
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Wedding Recap
Dear Friends and Family,
The air has turned autumn cool, but these two hearts are still basking in the glow of the summer heat – August 12th, to be exact. This "collision" (love story), which initially took place this week least year, continues to keep us brimming with anticipation for what this journey holds for us.
We just wanted to take an opportunity to share how we are doing, and to thank you for generously being part of our beautiful wedding and all the events surrounding this exciting new chapter.
As a senior in high school, the BQ (Big Question) is always, "Where are you planning to go for college?" Just before college graduation, the typical BQ is, "Where will you work next year?" Fortunately, since Jeromy and I experienced a whirlwind romance with a relatively short engagement, we didn't get too many of the, "So when are you guys tying the knot?" Thankfully, we haven't even experienced the classic newlywed BQ, "When are you planning on having kids?" Bless you ALL for that! We're not telling. However, the BQ we ARE getting lately, is, natch, "How's married life?"
Where to start?!
When we told one man in our church we were getting married he said, "The sooner, the better. It frees you up." So we took his advice! He's wasn't kidding. Being married has freed us up in so many ways. The best part is not having to go to separate houses at night, that was such a hassle! It's nice to have everything we need in one location. We have our apartment organized as well as we can with what we've got. We haven't really decorated yet, as it's difficult to come up with a "theme" in a 2-bedroom apartment. Plus it's expensive. But we love our little home, even if all we have are picture frames and candles. What more does an American couple really need, anyway?! Our condo is set in a quiet, woodsy neighborhood and is a perfect place for starting a life together.
Lately we've been having wonderful Sunday School and Bible study groups, very challenging and great for fellowship. We couldn't wait to spend more time getting to know other Christian couples around here, now that we're no longer hermit wedding planners! We've also gotten involved in the church's missions & evangelism ministry, and we're very excited about that. We'd like to develop some life-long friendships, and I think we're finding that at our church!
If we're going to invite any of our friends and family into our home for dinner, I (Tara) better learn how to cook! Our good friend Joe gave us a Rachel Ray cookbook that we're beginning to wear out. We both like to eat fairly healthy and are having fun trying out new recipes. We usually cook together, which has been enjoyable quality time. I don't know a whole lot of husbands who actually like to spend time in the kitchen (unless it's to raid the fridge!). I'm more of a natural baker than a natural cook, which isn't good in the fact that we both have a terrible sweet tooth, but I love making desserts for Jeromy. If you'd like to come over, though, we can now make some killer spanikopita turkey burgers, and the oriental chili we made the other day was amazing! So, if you're up for a good dose of heartburn, come visit us!
For those of you who missed the actual wedding, here is an overview of the day:
The wedding in and of itself was perfect. 70 degrees and blue skies set the tone, and everybody was smiling! The music was amazing. Dan Harney wrote us a song that was us to a "T", and the congregation joined us in singing "In Christ Alone" and "How Great Is Our God". Jeromy and I wrote our own vows. The flowers and sanctuary decorations were beautiful. There were no glitches. By God's grace, we were relatively calm and able to enjoy all of the events!
We just want you to know that the most important thing to us was not the flowers or dresses or cake, but our sacred ceremony, our vows to one another. Also, the offer to all our friends, family, and even acquaintances an invitation to rejoice and celebrate along with us. A wedding and all the events that surround it only happen once in a lifetime, and we are so blessed and grateful to have received so much love and support of this union. God has been present in our relationship from day one, and we have found Him continuing to bless us as husband and wife. Married life is wonderful.
I am still amazed at how naturally we fell into becoming husband and wife. There was no "transition" of sorts; it was as if we were always married and as if this is how it has always been - even though that was not the case! We are amazed at the growth in our sanctification even in the last two months, and that has evidenced to us that we were brought together, hugely in part, to learn to more clearly reflect Christ. We both will freely admit that we each play an instrumental spiritual role in the life of the other. There is truly a sweetness in this love that is entirely God-breathed. It is a beautiful thing to follow God's plan.
Enclosed are a few pictures we thought you might enjoy. We especially wanted those who did not get to attend the wedding to see the joy on our faces and the beauty of the day. We skittered off to Seattle the next day after staying at a Victorian B&B in Annapolis. Seattle was Jeromy's idea, and it was a good one! We spent half of our stay in the city, experiencing Pugit Sound and the Space Needle while enjoying a cup of joe at the first Starbucks. The last leg of our trip was spent at Mount Rainier! We stayed in a perfect, cozy little cabin at the base of the mountain and took hiking trips during the day! The best part of the whole week was that we didn't get a drop of rain! In fact, we got a bit sunburned! God gave us amazing weather while we were out West. We would HIGHLY recommend adding Washington State to your list of places to visit. To view our wedding and honeymoon photos, click here:
Wedding & Honeymoon (technical difficulties, sorry. Our pictures disappeared!)
Again, we thank you so much for embracing this marriage, for your prayers and tokens of love. They are all eternal investments.
Blessings,
Jeromy and Tara
The air has turned autumn cool, but these two hearts are still basking in the glow of the summer heat – August 12th, to be exact. This "collision" (love story), which initially took place this week least year, continues to keep us brimming with anticipation for what this journey holds for us.
We just wanted to take an opportunity to share how we are doing, and to thank you for generously being part of our beautiful wedding and all the events surrounding this exciting new chapter.
As a senior in high school, the BQ (Big Question) is always, "Where are you planning to go for college?" Just before college graduation, the typical BQ is, "Where will you work next year?" Fortunately, since Jeromy and I experienced a whirlwind romance with a relatively short engagement, we didn't get too many of the, "So when are you guys tying the knot?" Thankfully, we haven't even experienced the classic newlywed BQ, "When are you planning on having kids?" Bless you ALL for that! We're not telling. However, the BQ we ARE getting lately, is, natch, "How's married life?"
Where to start?!
When we told one man in our church we were getting married he said, "The sooner, the better. It frees you up." So we took his advice! He's wasn't kidding. Being married has freed us up in so many ways. The best part is not having to go to separate houses at night, that was such a hassle! It's nice to have everything we need in one location. We have our apartment organized as well as we can with what we've got. We haven't really decorated yet, as it's difficult to come up with a "theme" in a 2-bedroom apartment. Plus it's expensive. But we love our little home, even if all we have are picture frames and candles. What more does an American couple really need, anyway?! Our condo is set in a quiet, woodsy neighborhood and is a perfect place for starting a life together.
Lately we've been having wonderful Sunday School and Bible study groups, very challenging and great for fellowship. We couldn't wait to spend more time getting to know other Christian couples around here, now that we're no longer hermit wedding planners! We've also gotten involved in the church's missions & evangelism ministry, and we're very excited about that. We'd like to develop some life-long friendships, and I think we're finding that at our church!
If we're going to invite any of our friends and family into our home for dinner, I (Tara) better learn how to cook! Our good friend Joe gave us a Rachel Ray cookbook that we're beginning to wear out. We both like to eat fairly healthy and are having fun trying out new recipes. We usually cook together, which has been enjoyable quality time. I don't know a whole lot of husbands who actually like to spend time in the kitchen (unless it's to raid the fridge!). I'm more of a natural baker than a natural cook, which isn't good in the fact that we both have a terrible sweet tooth, but I love making desserts for Jeromy. If you'd like to come over, though, we can now make some killer spanikopita turkey burgers, and the oriental chili we made the other day was amazing! So, if you're up for a good dose of heartburn, come visit us!
For those of you who missed the actual wedding, here is an overview of the day:
The wedding in and of itself was perfect. 70 degrees and blue skies set the tone, and everybody was smiling! The music was amazing. Dan Harney wrote us a song that was us to a "T", and the congregation joined us in singing "In Christ Alone" and "How Great Is Our God". Jeromy and I wrote our own vows. The flowers and sanctuary decorations were beautiful. There were no glitches. By God's grace, we were relatively calm and able to enjoy all of the events!
We just want you to know that the most important thing to us was not the flowers or dresses or cake, but our sacred ceremony, our vows to one another. Also, the offer to all our friends, family, and even acquaintances an invitation to rejoice and celebrate along with us. A wedding and all the events that surround it only happen once in a lifetime, and we are so blessed and grateful to have received so much love and support of this union. God has been present in our relationship from day one, and we have found Him continuing to bless us as husband and wife. Married life is wonderful.
I am still amazed at how naturally we fell into becoming husband and wife. There was no "transition" of sorts; it was as if we were always married and as if this is how it has always been - even though that was not the case! We are amazed at the growth in our sanctification even in the last two months, and that has evidenced to us that we were brought together, hugely in part, to learn to more clearly reflect Christ. We both will freely admit that we each play an instrumental spiritual role in the life of the other. There is truly a sweetness in this love that is entirely God-breathed. It is a beautiful thing to follow God's plan.
Enclosed are a few pictures we thought you might enjoy. We especially wanted those who did not get to attend the wedding to see the joy on our faces and the beauty of the day. We skittered off to Seattle the next day after staying at a Victorian B&B in Annapolis. Seattle was Jeromy's idea, and it was a good one! We spent half of our stay in the city, experiencing Pugit Sound and the Space Needle while enjoying a cup of joe at the first Starbucks. The last leg of our trip was spent at Mount Rainier! We stayed in a perfect, cozy little cabin at the base of the mountain and took hiking trips during the day! The best part of the whole week was that we didn't get a drop of rain! In fact, we got a bit sunburned! God gave us amazing weather while we were out West. We would HIGHLY recommend adding Washington State to your list of places to visit. To view our wedding and honeymoon photos, click here:
Wedding & Honeymoon (technical difficulties, sorry. Our pictures disappeared!)
Again, we thank you so much for embracing this marriage, for your prayers and tokens of love. They are all eternal investments.
Blessings,
Jeromy and Tara
Saturday, April 8, 2006
Engaged!
I can't stand surprises if I get but a whiff of what's to come. That makes me desperate to know all the details, and I'm rather annoying when it comes to trying to find out. My engagement was no different. From the moment we first started talking about marriage, I turned into the impatient imp! In spite of myself, everything unfolded beautifully.
*****
Jeromy and I actually began talking about getting married back in January! (And since November, joking about running off to elope--in fact, we still do!) Very early on we knew this love was real, that God had His hand in this relationship and that there are plans He has for us together. Since we hadn't known each other very long we thought this connection we encountered was absolutely CRAZY! And it really IS!
We started talking about rings in February, and Jeromy started shopping around while I spent some more time in Charlotte. The week of Valentine's Day he called up my parents' house (well, after staring at his phone for 20 minutes!), and he asked my dad to unshackle his daughter--I mean, to marry his daughter! ;) Jeromy picked out a beautiful oval solitaire online, and he allowed me to choose the trellis setting. Knowing we were planning on getting married in the Fall (funny how SOME plans change...) and that we had long since been committed, waiting on the official proposal was TORTURE! I wanted to tell the world about my man, but I had to learn some patience.
Fortunately, Jeromy didn't make me wait too long. (He says I was "chomping at the bit"--how romantic!) While on vacation with the Cecil's in Vermont (beginning of March) he set up the details with the lighthouse caretakers, and planned to ask me shortly after my return a week later.
That weekend we had friends visit, and they had to leave earlier that morning. During the drive back from church Jeromy thought to call the guys to see where they were at on their trip home. Before hanging up one of his friends, unaware that he was on SPEAKER PHONE, said, "Oh, and pre-congratulations about tonight." Jeromy's ears turned bright red and I stared straight ahead. I didn't hear that, I really didn't hear that! "You're an idiot, I'm on speaker phone." Not another word was said about it! I thought it was ruined! I thought he for sure would decide not to propose that night.
We ate an entire pint of potato salad while sitting on the dock at Piney Point that evening. I still wasn't sure what was up Jeromy's sleeve, as it was pretty leisure. I was wearing capris, and my legs were getting cold, so I asked Jeromy if I could borrow his fleece jacket to cover them. I had no idea, but the ring was in the jacket pocket, and could have easily fallen into the water! But how was I to know? The sun was setting, so we walked over to the lighthouse. I had never seen it with the light on, and that was special in and of itself.
All of a sudden Jeromy began inspecting every square inch of the lighthouse. He was looking for a key, an open padlock, anything that would let us inside like he had been promised. I didn't know any of this. To me he looked like a crazy man running around the thing! He then ran over to the house a few yards away, jumped up the steps to see if the key was taped to the door. I was like, "What are you doing?! We're going to get in trouble for trespassing!" A dog started barking in one of the windows, yet he kept running around the property as if he owned it!
Finally he gave up his search, led me closer to the water's edge, and said, "Well....I brought you here for a reason." My eyes grew as big as saucers, I could feel it. Jer got down on one knee and, "I'm asking...will you be my wife?" (or something along those lines--no girl is thinking straight at a moment like that!) I do remember, however, responding with a hearty, "Of course!"Not everything went as planned, but everything was absolutely perfect!
*****
Jeromy and I actually began talking about getting married back in January! (And since November, joking about running off to elope--in fact, we still do!) Very early on we knew this love was real, that God had His hand in this relationship and that there are plans He has for us together. Since we hadn't known each other very long we thought this connection we encountered was absolutely CRAZY! And it really IS!
We started talking about rings in February, and Jeromy started shopping around while I spent some more time in Charlotte. The week of Valentine's Day he called up my parents' house (well, after staring at his phone for 20 minutes!), and he asked my dad to unshackle his daughter--I mean, to marry his daughter! ;) Jeromy picked out a beautiful oval solitaire online, and he allowed me to choose the trellis setting. Knowing we were planning on getting married in the Fall (funny how SOME plans change...) and that we had long since been committed, waiting on the official proposal was TORTURE! I wanted to tell the world about my man, but I had to learn some patience.
Fortunately, Jeromy didn't make me wait too long. (He says I was "chomping at the bit"--how romantic!) While on vacation with the Cecil's in Vermont (beginning of March) he set up the details with the lighthouse caretakers, and planned to ask me shortly after my return a week later.
That weekend we had friends visit, and they had to leave earlier that morning. During the drive back from church Jeromy thought to call the guys to see where they were at on their trip home. Before hanging up one of his friends, unaware that he was on SPEAKER PHONE, said, "Oh, and pre-congratulations about tonight." Jeromy's ears turned bright red and I stared straight ahead. I didn't hear that, I really didn't hear that! "You're an idiot, I'm on speaker phone." Not another word was said about it! I thought it was ruined! I thought he for sure would decide not to propose that night.
We ate an entire pint of potato salad while sitting on the dock at Piney Point that evening. I still wasn't sure what was up Jeromy's sleeve, as it was pretty leisure. I was wearing capris, and my legs were getting cold, so I asked Jeromy if I could borrow his fleece jacket to cover them. I had no idea, but the ring was in the jacket pocket, and could have easily fallen into the water! But how was I to know? The sun was setting, so we walked over to the lighthouse. I had never seen it with the light on, and that was special in and of itself.
All of a sudden Jeromy began inspecting every square inch of the lighthouse. He was looking for a key, an open padlock, anything that would let us inside like he had been promised. I didn't know any of this. To me he looked like a crazy man running around the thing! He then ran over to the house a few yards away, jumped up the steps to see if the key was taped to the door. I was like, "What are you doing?! We're going to get in trouble for trespassing!" A dog started barking in one of the windows, yet he kept running around the property as if he owned it!
Finally he gave up his search, led me closer to the water's edge, and said, "Well....I brought you here for a reason." My eyes grew as big as saucers, I could feel it. Jer got down on one knee and, "I'm asking...will you be my wife?" (or something along those lines--no girl is thinking straight at a moment like that!) I do remember, however, responding with a hearty, "Of course!"Not everything went as planned, but everything was absolutely perfect!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
The Meeting
These are the major events surrounding the time Jeromy and I met and fell in love. The official "collision", which we like to call it. 'Meant to be' is an understatement! Here - take this tissue.
*****
Back at the end of September (2005) I was in the process of looking for a church to attend during my stay in Maryland as a nanny. Don't ask me how but while playing around on Myspace (which we both never even use anymore!) I noticed Jeromy's page and that he was from Lexington Park, MD (just a couple miles down the road). His page was highly Christian, mentioning some of the books he likes to read and all that (which included specific books of the Bible and other Christian authors). I had just recently visited Lexington Park Baptist Church, and shot him a short email to ask if he was familiar with it, or if he knew of any other good churches in the area. Turns out he used to attend that church, and it was crazy because I later found out that he used to attend Bible study with some Christian girls I met at St. Mary's College (the ones who invited me to the campus ministry bonfire!). In fact, they even invited me to that same Bible study, and I never went. That means, had I accepted the invitation and attended the Bible study, I would have met Jeromy earlier than I did! Crazy... But who cares--we met anyhow!
After that we emailed back and forth for a couple weeks, talking about John Piper and Calvinism (4.5 vs. 5-point and all that), just a friendly conversation about a bunch of theological stuff. He asked me if I knew Piper since I'm from Minnesota, and I told him yes, and that I even visited Piper's church just before coming out here to Maryland! I even forwarded the notes on his sermon because I thought Jeromy might be interested. And then, since I was reading Captivating by John Eldredge, and I found out he was into Wild at Heart by the same author, we started talking about some of those issues.
The next week when I was in Charlotte, NC with the Cecils, Jeromy sent me a message that simply said, "When are you coming back to Southern Maryland so we can actually meet???" I was kind of taken aback, but laughed it off a little bit. My mind was kind of distracted elsewhere at the moment. Meeting Jeromy was the most random thing that had happened to me so far while in Maryland. It turns out, however, that my distraction was a good thing, or I might have been tempted to go after Jeromy, to pursue him instead of allowing God to lead him to pursue me. It was all perfect timing, the way it worked out.
I really wasn't seeking anything with Jeromy. In fact, I just about turned him down when he asked if I'd like to meet up with him and some of his friends at the Coffee Quarter one Friday night (October 21st). I just didn't want to go. And I don't know why. But at the last minute I decided, why not? I ought to make some friends so I don't end up a hermit all year! And actually, that night we didn't get to talk very much at the coffee shop because there was this jazz group from the College of Southern Maryland performing, and they were pretty loud. But afterward we went outside and with one of his friends and spent some time talking. Just nice and light. Yet even then I caught the vibe that Jeromy and I were on the same page spiritually. He walked me to my car, and it started to rain. And we just stood there and talked some more--in the rain!!
I didn't email Jeromy after that. I didn't even hear from him until the following Friday (October 28th), when he called me at about 6 pm, asking if I'd like to go to Panera Bread and then catch some ice cream at Cold Stone. I had just come in from a run, and I had almost passed out on the couch when he called. He gave me all of 15 minutes to freshen up (thanks, Jer!), and he was at the door! Talk about short notice! But it was fine, and we ended up talking nonstop again. I almost didn't even want to take a bite of food because then we'd have to pause the conversation--it was unbelievable!
I believe the next time we got together was Sunday afternoon, two days after Panera Bread (October 30th). By this time I knew something was UP with this guy. Again, he called me last minute, about an hour after church, and he drove us around to all these fun little nooks in St. Mary's County. Little known parks and beaches, lighthouses, docks...they all had beautiful views! Our last stop was Piney Point Lighthouse. Piney Point would soon become "our spot".
By that time it had grown dark, and the sky was bright. A million stars. We walked to the end of the dock and just stood there for probably an hour and a half, just marveling in wonder at the things of God. We never talked about this friendship we had formed, or whether we wanted to be more than friends. It was ALL about God. That night was magic, and we both knew it. God was doing something here, but we didn't have a clue where that would lead. All of that was yet unsaid.
I think we ate out one more time before the missions banquet with the Potomac Baptist Association. It was weird. He called me Monday night (October 31st), just after I hung up with the Association office to make a reservation so I could attend the banquet. There was no way I was going to invite Jeromy. I don't ask guys out, period. But when he called I said that I just finished making reservations for the banquet, he immediately responded with, "Oh yeah, that sounds cool!" He said it as if I made a reservation for TWO--me AND him! I didn't know what to say! It was awkward, but at the same time it wasn't! So I just played along, "You mean you would like to go?" There went God again...appointing things out of my control! I almost laughed out loud!
So yes, Jeromy went to the banquet with me the following Thursday (November 4th). And I paid! (*gasp*) The speaker at the missions banquet was Carrie McDonnall, lone survivor of an Iraqi insurgent attack back in March of '04. She, her husband, and two other individuals were missionaries over in Iraq, and they all perished except for Carrie, despite the fact she was wounded over 22 times. 22 TIMES!!! Most people are dead with ONE bullet! This woman is definitely a recipient of God's mercy. God has a message for her to share with the world. And share she did!
Recently we joked about how the seating at our table was pretty cozy, and despite no other physical contact up to that point, we were forced to rest our leg against the other's! The previous week I sent Jeromy an email with just one word: "integrity", because I was so impressed with how honorably and selflessly he treated me at all times. I was beginning to grasp the importance of communicating more specifically when he wrote back and asked, "Is that to say I have it or need it?" :)
After the banquet Jeromy drove me back to the Cecils, but we stayed in the truck and talked for at least another hour. It was good. Then I realized I had decided not to bring my purse, and that my house key was locked inside! It was after 11 by then, and to my dismay I ended up waking both Mike and Chris, AND Samantha--who was screaming once they let me in the house. And THEN the security alarm went off, and...it was a mess. So I said a quick goodbye to Jeromy and went straight up to my bedroom. I felt horrible and embarrassed and I wanted to hide.
I wasn't tired, though, so I emailed a "thank-you-but-sorry-for-the-incident" message, and then when I clicked send, I noticed Jeromy had sent me a message at the same time! We were both too wired to sleep, so we hopped on MSN messenger and chatted for...a few more hours! As it were, Jeromy decided to just lay it all out there, and he commented about how amazing it has been to meet someone like me who wants to talk about the things of God. He said he had to wear his heart on his sleeve and take a risk with me. It took us until 2:30 in the morning to finish that conversation! We will never forget that night/wee morning.
Near the beginning I had feared taking it further than friendship because I had never before experienced such a spiritual connection to somebody so quickly in all my life. From the start it was obvious that this was NOT about Jeromy and Tara. This was about GOD. All I could do was just pray that it would ALWAYS be about God. But I was still scared because I DID want more, and God had to show me that that didn't have to be a bad thing. For the first time it wasn't ME striving. I wasn't seeking anything. It was frightening because it WAS (and IS) totally out of my control. There were Hands greater than mine at work here. It was so real I could feel it. And the last thing I wanted to do was to dishonor that sacredness. I didn't want this God-focus to all of a sudden make this selfish shift so that it became about Jeromy and Tara. The thought haunted me. So I didn't say a word. And then I was struck with one thought: Well, if it be in the mind of God Almighty, then what if, perhaps one day it just might be more about GOD if it were more about Jeromy and Tara? MORE sacred. And the fear absolutely crumbled. It dissolved. And yet I still didn't say a word. I've learned enough in my day (the hard way, always!) to let the guy be the pursuer. I don't want to rob a guy of that glory, nor do I want to rob myself of a potentially incredible story. So I just waited. But surprisingly, it wasn't hard! And then, that night God opened Jeromy's mouth, and there you have it...a collision. An amazing whirlwind of a collision that still causes me to rub my eyes in the middle of the day, wondering if this is real. (Pinching hurts, so I stopped that!) And it IS real. And we covet that sacredness. We may have to fight for it at times, but it is every bit worth the fight.
We could hardly wait until daylight, because we planned to meet for breakfast. We stopped at the store to pick up some bagels and sat at the Piney Point dock again. Jeromy brought his guitar and we sang praise songs toward the horizon and prayed some. Perfection....
The rest is history, I guess. October 21st and November 5th are two quite special days for us. And soon to come, August 12th!
See also: Engaged!, Our Wedding Vows, and Jeromy
*****
Back at the end of September (2005) I was in the process of looking for a church to attend during my stay in Maryland as a nanny. Don't ask me how but while playing around on Myspace (which we both never even use anymore!) I noticed Jeromy's page and that he was from Lexington Park, MD (just a couple miles down the road). His page was highly Christian, mentioning some of the books he likes to read and all that (which included specific books of the Bible and other Christian authors). I had just recently visited Lexington Park Baptist Church, and shot him a short email to ask if he was familiar with it, or if he knew of any other good churches in the area. Turns out he used to attend that church, and it was crazy because I later found out that he used to attend Bible study with some Christian girls I met at St. Mary's College (the ones who invited me to the campus ministry bonfire!). In fact, they even invited me to that same Bible study, and I never went. That means, had I accepted the invitation and attended the Bible study, I would have met Jeromy earlier than I did! Crazy... But who cares--we met anyhow!
After that we emailed back and forth for a couple weeks, talking about John Piper and Calvinism (4.5 vs. 5-point and all that), just a friendly conversation about a bunch of theological stuff. He asked me if I knew Piper since I'm from Minnesota, and I told him yes, and that I even visited Piper's church just before coming out here to Maryland! I even forwarded the notes on his sermon because I thought Jeromy might be interested. And then, since I was reading Captivating by John Eldredge, and I found out he was into Wild at Heart by the same author, we started talking about some of those issues.
The next week when I was in Charlotte, NC with the Cecils, Jeromy sent me a message that simply said, "When are you coming back to Southern Maryland so we can actually meet???" I was kind of taken aback, but laughed it off a little bit. My mind was kind of distracted elsewhere at the moment. Meeting Jeromy was the most random thing that had happened to me so far while in Maryland. It turns out, however, that my distraction was a good thing, or I might have been tempted to go after Jeromy, to pursue him instead of allowing God to lead him to pursue me. It was all perfect timing, the way it worked out.
I really wasn't seeking anything with Jeromy. In fact, I just about turned him down when he asked if I'd like to meet up with him and some of his friends at the Coffee Quarter one Friday night (October 21st). I just didn't want to go. And I don't know why. But at the last minute I decided, why not? I ought to make some friends so I don't end up a hermit all year! And actually, that night we didn't get to talk very much at the coffee shop because there was this jazz group from the College of Southern Maryland performing, and they were pretty loud. But afterward we went outside and with one of his friends and spent some time talking. Just nice and light. Yet even then I caught the vibe that Jeromy and I were on the same page spiritually. He walked me to my car, and it started to rain. And we just stood there and talked some more--in the rain!!
I didn't email Jeromy after that. I didn't even hear from him until the following Friday (October 28th), when he called me at about 6 pm, asking if I'd like to go to Panera Bread and then catch some ice cream at Cold Stone. I had just come in from a run, and I had almost passed out on the couch when he called. He gave me all of 15 minutes to freshen up (thanks, Jer!), and he was at the door! Talk about short notice! But it was fine, and we ended up talking nonstop again. I almost didn't even want to take a bite of food because then we'd have to pause the conversation--it was unbelievable!
I believe the next time we got together was Sunday afternoon, two days after Panera Bread (October 30th). By this time I knew something was UP with this guy. Again, he called me last minute, about an hour after church, and he drove us around to all these fun little nooks in St. Mary's County. Little known parks and beaches, lighthouses, docks...they all had beautiful views! Our last stop was Piney Point Lighthouse. Piney Point would soon become "our spot".
By that time it had grown dark, and the sky was bright. A million stars. We walked to the end of the dock and just stood there for probably an hour and a half, just marveling in wonder at the things of God. We never talked about this friendship we had formed, or whether we wanted to be more than friends. It was ALL about God. That night was magic, and we both knew it. God was doing something here, but we didn't have a clue where that would lead. All of that was yet unsaid.
I think we ate out one more time before the missions banquet with the Potomac Baptist Association. It was weird. He called me Monday night (October 31st), just after I hung up with the Association office to make a reservation so I could attend the banquet. There was no way I was going to invite Jeromy. I don't ask guys out, period. But when he called I said that I just finished making reservations for the banquet, he immediately responded with, "Oh yeah, that sounds cool!" He said it as if I made a reservation for TWO--me AND him! I didn't know what to say! It was awkward, but at the same time it wasn't! So I just played along, "You mean you would like to go?" There went God again...appointing things out of my control! I almost laughed out loud!
So yes, Jeromy went to the banquet with me the following Thursday (November 4th). And I paid! (*gasp*) The speaker at the missions banquet was Carrie McDonnall, lone survivor of an Iraqi insurgent attack back in March of '04. She, her husband, and two other individuals were missionaries over in Iraq, and they all perished except for Carrie, despite the fact she was wounded over 22 times. 22 TIMES!!! Most people are dead with ONE bullet! This woman is definitely a recipient of God's mercy. God has a message for her to share with the world. And share she did!
Recently we joked about how the seating at our table was pretty cozy, and despite no other physical contact up to that point, we were forced to rest our leg against the other's! The previous week I sent Jeromy an email with just one word: "integrity", because I was so impressed with how honorably and selflessly he treated me at all times. I was beginning to grasp the importance of communicating more specifically when he wrote back and asked, "Is that to say I have it or need it?" :)
After the banquet Jeromy drove me back to the Cecils, but we stayed in the truck and talked for at least another hour. It was good. Then I realized I had decided not to bring my purse, and that my house key was locked inside! It was after 11 by then, and to my dismay I ended up waking both Mike and Chris, AND Samantha--who was screaming once they let me in the house. And THEN the security alarm went off, and...it was a mess. So I said a quick goodbye to Jeromy and went straight up to my bedroom. I felt horrible and embarrassed and I wanted to hide.
I wasn't tired, though, so I emailed a "thank-you-but-sorry-for-the-incident" message, and then when I clicked send, I noticed Jeromy had sent me a message at the same time! We were both too wired to sleep, so we hopped on MSN messenger and chatted for...a few more hours! As it were, Jeromy decided to just lay it all out there, and he commented about how amazing it has been to meet someone like me who wants to talk about the things of God. He said he had to wear his heart on his sleeve and take a risk with me. It took us until 2:30 in the morning to finish that conversation! We will never forget that night/wee morning.
Near the beginning I had feared taking it further than friendship because I had never before experienced such a spiritual connection to somebody so quickly in all my life. From the start it was obvious that this was NOT about Jeromy and Tara. This was about GOD. All I could do was just pray that it would ALWAYS be about God. But I was still scared because I DID want more, and God had to show me that that didn't have to be a bad thing. For the first time it wasn't ME striving. I wasn't seeking anything. It was frightening because it WAS (and IS) totally out of my control. There were Hands greater than mine at work here. It was so real I could feel it. And the last thing I wanted to do was to dishonor that sacredness. I didn't want this God-focus to all of a sudden make this selfish shift so that it became about Jeromy and Tara. The thought haunted me. So I didn't say a word. And then I was struck with one thought: Well, if it be in the mind of God Almighty, then what if, perhaps one day it just might be more about GOD if it were more about Jeromy and Tara? MORE sacred. And the fear absolutely crumbled. It dissolved. And yet I still didn't say a word. I've learned enough in my day (the hard way, always!) to let the guy be the pursuer. I don't want to rob a guy of that glory, nor do I want to rob myself of a potentially incredible story. So I just waited. But surprisingly, it wasn't hard! And then, that night God opened Jeromy's mouth, and there you have it...a collision. An amazing whirlwind of a collision that still causes me to rub my eyes in the middle of the day, wondering if this is real. (Pinching hurts, so I stopped that!) And it IS real. And we covet that sacredness. We may have to fight for it at times, but it is every bit worth the fight.
We could hardly wait until daylight, because we planned to meet for breakfast. We stopped at the store to pick up some bagels and sat at the Piney Point dock again. Jeromy brought his guitar and we sang praise songs toward the horizon and prayed some. Perfection....
The rest is history, I guess. October 21st and November 5th are two quite special days for us. And soon to come, August 12th!
See also: Engaged!, Our Wedding Vows, and Jeromy
Monday, March 6, 2006
Grace
This is part of my personal testimony. Our pastor told myself and Jeromy to write about our spiritual lives so that he would know a little about us before starting pre-marital counseling with us. I think every blog I write includes more details of my spiritual journey. Although I was saved as a child, I am forever still in the growing stages! But the account below is more of the "nutshell" version.
*****
I was born into a Christian family and attended church regularly throughout my childhood. I had learned about salvation in Sunday school and from my parents, and it was my father who led me to the Lord after church one Sunday when I was five years old (November 17, 1985 to be exact). My profession of faith was made public by immersion two years later. Church membership followed my baptism, and I continued to actively participate in all services as well as children's programs.
Despite faithfulness to the local church, there was little evidence of maturity in my sanctification until my teenage years, when I truly began to understand and submit to Christ's lordship in my life. That is to say, for many of my growing up years I had the appearance of the "ideal" Christian girl, but I had yet to grow into an understanding of a personal relationship with God.
The summer prior to my last year of high school I experienced the accidental death of one of my youth group peers. The tragedy was one of my first encounters with this level of grief. At the same time, my church was going through a split, and both losses deeply affected me and broke me spiritually. I began to depend on the Lord and started to come to him voluntarily through prayer. From that point in time until now, I have seen God's hand teach me volumes about Himself and His plan for my life through life's experiences: changes, challenges, blessings, chastening, desires, joys, trials, people, ministries, etc.
After high school I went on to attend a Bible college, where I gained, most of all, a yearning to know my God even more intimately. My Bible professors taught me how to study the Bible, challenging me to base my convictions on what I have personally read of His Word instead of blindly accepting the convictions of man at face value in the same vein as did the church of Berea. After college graduation up until the present, I have sought to remain a student of the Bible. College laid for me a tremendous foundation for my Christian life, but there is still so much more of God to explore and probe and seek and glorify.
Lately, the Lord has been impressing upon my heart concepts such as grace and love and evangelism and freedom in Christ. I am especially and increasingly grateful for and awestruck by His grace in my own life. As a 5-year-old Sunday school kid I received grace that has eternally wrapped me in a blanket of Christ's righteousness, but it is the grace of His that I encounter every day that, in my opinion, is the most profound grace of all. And even when I receive it, I cannot keep it for myself. I live in a world that is in desperate need of grace, and I have both a duty and a passion to see that my life rightly represents what God's grace is all about.
"For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required" (Luke 12:48b).
*****
I was born into a Christian family and attended church regularly throughout my childhood. I had learned about salvation in Sunday school and from my parents, and it was my father who led me to the Lord after church one Sunday when I was five years old (November 17, 1985 to be exact). My profession of faith was made public by immersion two years later. Church membership followed my baptism, and I continued to actively participate in all services as well as children's programs.
Despite faithfulness to the local church, there was little evidence of maturity in my sanctification until my teenage years, when I truly began to understand and submit to Christ's lordship in my life. That is to say, for many of my growing up years I had the appearance of the "ideal" Christian girl, but I had yet to grow into an understanding of a personal relationship with God.
The summer prior to my last year of high school I experienced the accidental death of one of my youth group peers. The tragedy was one of my first encounters with this level of grief. At the same time, my church was going through a split, and both losses deeply affected me and broke me spiritually. I began to depend on the Lord and started to come to him voluntarily through prayer. From that point in time until now, I have seen God's hand teach me volumes about Himself and His plan for my life through life's experiences: changes, challenges, blessings, chastening, desires, joys, trials, people, ministries, etc.
After high school I went on to attend a Bible college, where I gained, most of all, a yearning to know my God even more intimately. My Bible professors taught me how to study the Bible, challenging me to base my convictions on what I have personally read of His Word instead of blindly accepting the convictions of man at face value in the same vein as did the church of Berea. After college graduation up until the present, I have sought to remain a student of the Bible. College laid for me a tremendous foundation for my Christian life, but there is still so much more of God to explore and probe and seek and glorify.
Lately, the Lord has been impressing upon my heart concepts such as grace and love and evangelism and freedom in Christ. I am especially and increasingly grateful for and awestruck by His grace in my own life. As a 5-year-old Sunday school kid I received grace that has eternally wrapped me in a blanket of Christ's righteousness, but it is the grace of His that I encounter every day that, in my opinion, is the most profound grace of all. And even when I receive it, I cannot keep it for myself. I live in a world that is in desperate need of grace, and I have both a duty and a passion to see that my life rightly represents what God's grace is all about.
"For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required" (Luke 12:48b).
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Interruption Frustration
Phone calls. Emails. Doorbells. Severe weather. Pleas for help. Traffic Jams. Defective clock alarms. Illnesses...all of a sudden and/or at the same time! Interruptions to life usually leave me screaming on the inside and yanking my hair out by the handfuls!
This year Gloria Gaither was the keynote speaker at the Heart of Worship Conference at Asheville, North Carolina's spectacular Grove Park Inn. Using her life as well as the life of Jesus as testimony of her premise, Gloria has come to believe that God's will is most often found in the "interruptions" of our daily lives. We tend to think we know the right path...we know where God is leading and what He would have us accomplish for Him. Come to find out, that is almost never the case. I can definitely identify with that quite arrogant attitude. I rarely get pleasure from my plans so rudely interrupted. In fact, I usually despise interruptions. I despise them because, as a classic planner, they get in the way of MY agenda, MY goals, MY life. Interruptions instantly and unmistakably reveal character. They bring me to a fork in the road where my heart must decide whether it will trust God and submit to whatever is intended by the interruption, or become frustrated and continue to strive in vain pursuit.
Perhaps one reason God finds interruptions effective in our lives is because they humble us so. They demand we unclench our fists around whatever it is He is calling us to submit to Him that we might let Him have His way. HIS way...which is what He knows and what we later discover is what is truly best for us in the first place. These interruptions remind us that we are NOT in control. Once we begin to think we have figured out life--and even GOD Himself--that is just the moment we need a hard and fast reminder, such as interruptions provide, that will crumble our castles and break our hard hearts to expose any pride or selfish motive. They stop us in our tracks and bring us to our knees in desperation because all of a sudden nothing within our finite minds makes any sense. We stop looking to our own counsel, hopefully, and instead seek His. We admit our futility, failures, and fumbles, and reach inside to dust off something we might have set aside for a time...faith.
This humbling agent of interruption, perhaps, may be taken in a negative light. However, once an interruption has humbled us, it also serves as reminder of God's presence, His guidance, and utmost care for every detail of our lives--but especially that which paves the way to a more intimate walk with Him. Positive elements. Good things. Knowing there is potential for spiritual growth to take place in my life, even as a result of having to sacrifice my schedule and earthly resolve, absolutely fills my heart with a much greater hope than if I were to continue charting life on my own.
I was encouraged when Gloria confessed to have finally discovered what she "wants to be when she grows up" by the young age of sixty! At twenty-five, I have considered myself well behind my peers in that respect! Yet, as God continues to blow surging hurricanes through my daily activities, my prayer is that I would accept those interruptions with not only a gracious, godly submission, but also with an adventurous curiosity and anticipation of eternally weighted tasks God may choose to accomplish through me by way of interruption! I want to get to the place where I even welcome interruptions. And there, find God's will not in some distant future or tucked away in some box, but all around me, within every moment...every breath. God doesn't set us out on some scavenger hunt to find His will. He is ever actively in the process with us and simply wants our hearts to resonate with His. And then all we have to do, as in the words of Chuck Swindoll, is merely "show up for work." And right now that means loving my charge Samantha, protecting and enriching her as if she were my own child. It means denying self in order to serve the Cecil family in practical, sacrificial ways. It means going the extra mile...displaying sincere love for people...staying in the Word...paying for my school bill...faithfully serving in my local church..."picking up socks"!
Gloria challenged me to look at my life's interruptions in a new, more spirit-filled light. In fact, taking a glance into hindsight I now see many evidences of God moving me through divinely placed doors by way of interruptions. Doors of which I had never before considered coming from His hand but of my own crafted efforts! How reassuring and freeing to know God is in control!
Nanny work is not my career choice. Granted, it is a position God has used to stretch me, to increase my knowledge and wisdom, and has always offered a unique ministry opportunity. And it IS something I love to do. Yet, while my heart is in and has always been in the field of writing, I look back and discover that so much of what I have written thus far has come out of my experiences as a nanny. And God has used some of that to encourage and challenge other people. What more do I want?!
Had God led me right out of high school to a public university for education in copywriting or journalism, I would never have received Bible training in college, nor obtained an education degree. I would never have experienced the rich depth of peer fellowship, which I found there. I would never have learned those hard lessons that have shaped me into the person I am today and, even greater, cultivated within me such fantastic desire to KNOW GOD, that which I might not have otherwise encountered. I would never exchange those life-impacting experiences for any writing career in the world, if given the opportunity!
Going further, had I not accepted positions with my various host families I would not had a Christian influence on so many children’s' lives. I would never have learned so many principles and practices pertaining to household and family. I certainly would not have been blessed with such amazing travel opportunities, to places like Vermont, Massachusetts, West Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, and the Bahamas! And had my career path been different I would have never met such embracing, accepting church families as my travels have allowed me.
In fact, I would not have even been able to attend the Heart of Worship conference and hear this message of Gloria's had I not been staying with my host family in North Carolina for that weekend! I look back and am thankful for how I can trace the hand of God all throughout my past. Interruptions have brought many good things into my life. A knee injury in college led me to nanny my physical therapist's daughter. A church split plunged me into greater depths of dependence on God. A floundering love interest distracted me enough to allow the right man to come into my life and pursue my heart.
God has done some amazing things via interruption. I must remember that the next time I want to slam my fist and scream in frustration. I hope Gloria's challenging words, born out of both experience and deep conviction, will carry me through many interruptions to come. The next interruption just may lead to an opportunity to share Christ. It may become a door of opportunity into the writing field. It may, however, simply steer me to that one stray, dirty sock under my bed that I might pick it up and toss it into the hamper. For what right do I have to judge the significance of any such interruption? So quickly I forget that to me to live is CHRIST, that with Him my life and my will is crucified. The goal is not greatness, but humility and surrender. My pride will quickly destroy me, but in that humility I find grace, and only in Christ can that lead to anything great.
This is not a matter of being IN God's will or OUT of God's will. God has no "plan B for your life," as Gloria put it, "only plan A." He uses even our sinful tendencies and ALWAYS uses our weaknesses to accomplish His purposes. Still, we cannot ignore the clear command from James 4:7 to "submit ourselves to God. In Proverbs 3:5-6, to quit analyzing and reasoning with life on human terms. To quit striving long enough to look toward Heaven with a willing and trusting heart. I would rather my legacy be one by which God used my submissiveness rather than my sinfulness! If anything, I come to the Father with renewed hope that He will continue to prove Himself faithful as I desire to prove the same. Thank you, Gloria!
It's all about you, Jesus
And all this is for you,
for your glory and your fame
It's not about me,
as if you should do things my way
You alone are God
and I surrender to your ways
-Paul Oakley
This year Gloria Gaither was the keynote speaker at the Heart of Worship Conference at Asheville, North Carolina's spectacular Grove Park Inn. Using her life as well as the life of Jesus as testimony of her premise, Gloria has come to believe that God's will is most often found in the "interruptions" of our daily lives. We tend to think we know the right path...we know where God is leading and what He would have us accomplish for Him. Come to find out, that is almost never the case. I can definitely identify with that quite arrogant attitude. I rarely get pleasure from my plans so rudely interrupted. In fact, I usually despise interruptions. I despise them because, as a classic planner, they get in the way of MY agenda, MY goals, MY life. Interruptions instantly and unmistakably reveal character. They bring me to a fork in the road where my heart must decide whether it will trust God and submit to whatever is intended by the interruption, or become frustrated and continue to strive in vain pursuit.
Perhaps one reason God finds interruptions effective in our lives is because they humble us so. They demand we unclench our fists around whatever it is He is calling us to submit to Him that we might let Him have His way. HIS way...which is what He knows and what we later discover is what is truly best for us in the first place. These interruptions remind us that we are NOT in control. Once we begin to think we have figured out life--and even GOD Himself--that is just the moment we need a hard and fast reminder, such as interruptions provide, that will crumble our castles and break our hard hearts to expose any pride or selfish motive. They stop us in our tracks and bring us to our knees in desperation because all of a sudden nothing within our finite minds makes any sense. We stop looking to our own counsel, hopefully, and instead seek His. We admit our futility, failures, and fumbles, and reach inside to dust off something we might have set aside for a time...faith.
This humbling agent of interruption, perhaps, may be taken in a negative light. However, once an interruption has humbled us, it also serves as reminder of God's presence, His guidance, and utmost care for every detail of our lives--but especially that which paves the way to a more intimate walk with Him. Positive elements. Good things. Knowing there is potential for spiritual growth to take place in my life, even as a result of having to sacrifice my schedule and earthly resolve, absolutely fills my heart with a much greater hope than if I were to continue charting life on my own.
I was encouraged when Gloria confessed to have finally discovered what she "wants to be when she grows up" by the young age of sixty! At twenty-five, I have considered myself well behind my peers in that respect! Yet, as God continues to blow surging hurricanes through my daily activities, my prayer is that I would accept those interruptions with not only a gracious, godly submission, but also with an adventurous curiosity and anticipation of eternally weighted tasks God may choose to accomplish through me by way of interruption! I want to get to the place where I even welcome interruptions. And there, find God's will not in some distant future or tucked away in some box, but all around me, within every moment...every breath. God doesn't set us out on some scavenger hunt to find His will. He is ever actively in the process with us and simply wants our hearts to resonate with His. And then all we have to do, as in the words of Chuck Swindoll, is merely "show up for work." And right now that means loving my charge Samantha, protecting and enriching her as if she were my own child. It means denying self in order to serve the Cecil family in practical, sacrificial ways. It means going the extra mile...displaying sincere love for people...staying in the Word...paying for my school bill...faithfully serving in my local church..."picking up socks"!
Gloria challenged me to look at my life's interruptions in a new, more spirit-filled light. In fact, taking a glance into hindsight I now see many evidences of God moving me through divinely placed doors by way of interruptions. Doors of which I had never before considered coming from His hand but of my own crafted efforts! How reassuring and freeing to know God is in control!
Nanny work is not my career choice. Granted, it is a position God has used to stretch me, to increase my knowledge and wisdom, and has always offered a unique ministry opportunity. And it IS something I love to do. Yet, while my heart is in and has always been in the field of writing, I look back and discover that so much of what I have written thus far has come out of my experiences as a nanny. And God has used some of that to encourage and challenge other people. What more do I want?!
Had God led me right out of high school to a public university for education in copywriting or journalism, I would never have received Bible training in college, nor obtained an education degree. I would never have experienced the rich depth of peer fellowship, which I found there. I would never have learned those hard lessons that have shaped me into the person I am today and, even greater, cultivated within me such fantastic desire to KNOW GOD, that which I might not have otherwise encountered. I would never exchange those life-impacting experiences for any writing career in the world, if given the opportunity!
Going further, had I not accepted positions with my various host families I would not had a Christian influence on so many children’s' lives. I would never have learned so many principles and practices pertaining to household and family. I certainly would not have been blessed with such amazing travel opportunities, to places like Vermont, Massachusetts, West Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, and the Bahamas! And had my career path been different I would have never met such embracing, accepting church families as my travels have allowed me.
In fact, I would not have even been able to attend the Heart of Worship conference and hear this message of Gloria's had I not been staying with my host family in North Carolina for that weekend! I look back and am thankful for how I can trace the hand of God all throughout my past. Interruptions have brought many good things into my life. A knee injury in college led me to nanny my physical therapist's daughter. A church split plunged me into greater depths of dependence on God. A floundering love interest distracted me enough to allow the right man to come into my life and pursue my heart.
God has done some amazing things via interruption. I must remember that the next time I want to slam my fist and scream in frustration. I hope Gloria's challenging words, born out of both experience and deep conviction, will carry me through many interruptions to come. The next interruption just may lead to an opportunity to share Christ. It may become a door of opportunity into the writing field. It may, however, simply steer me to that one stray, dirty sock under my bed that I might pick it up and toss it into the hamper. For what right do I have to judge the significance of any such interruption? So quickly I forget that to me to live is CHRIST, that with Him my life and my will is crucified. The goal is not greatness, but humility and surrender. My pride will quickly destroy me, but in that humility I find grace, and only in Christ can that lead to anything great.
This is not a matter of being IN God's will or OUT of God's will. God has no "plan B for your life," as Gloria put it, "only plan A." He uses even our sinful tendencies and ALWAYS uses our weaknesses to accomplish His purposes. Still, we cannot ignore the clear command from James 4:7 to "submit ourselves to God. In Proverbs 3:5-6, to quit analyzing and reasoning with life on human terms. To quit striving long enough to look toward Heaven with a willing and trusting heart. I would rather my legacy be one by which God used my submissiveness rather than my sinfulness! If anything, I come to the Father with renewed hope that He will continue to prove Himself faithful as I desire to prove the same. Thank you, Gloria!
It's all about you, Jesus
And all this is for you,
for your glory and your fame
It's not about me,
as if you should do things my way
You alone are God
and I surrender to your ways
-Paul Oakley
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