Thursday, January 26, 2006

Interruption Frustration

Phone calls. Emails. Doorbells. Severe weather. Pleas for help. Traffic Jams. Defective clock alarms. Illnesses...all of a sudden and/or at the same time! Interruptions to life usually leave me screaming on the inside and yanking my hair out by the handfuls!

This year Gloria Gaither was the keynote speaker at the Heart of Worship Conference at Asheville, North Carolina's spectacular Grove Park Inn. Using her life as well as the life of Jesus as testimony of her premise, Gloria has come to believe that God's will is most often found in the "interruptions" of our daily lives. We tend to think we know the right path...we know where God is leading and what He would have us accomplish for Him. Come to find out, that is almost never the case. I can definitely identify with that quite arrogant attitude. I rarely get pleasure from my plans so rudely interrupted. In fact, I usually despise interruptions. I despise them because, as a classic planner, they get in the way of MY agenda, MY goals, MY life. Interruptions instantly and unmistakably reveal character. They bring me to a fork in the road where my heart must decide whether it will trust God and submit to whatever is intended by the interruption, or become frustrated and continue to strive in vain pursuit.

Perhaps one reason God finds interruptions effective in our lives is because they humble us so. They demand we unclench our fists around whatever it is He is calling us to submit to Him that we might let Him have His way. HIS way...which is what He knows and what we later discover is what is truly best for us in the first place. These interruptions remind us that we are NOT in control. Once we begin to think we have figured out life--and even GOD Himself--that is just the moment we need a hard and fast reminder, such as interruptions provide, that will crumble our castles and break our hard hearts to expose any pride or selfish motive. They stop us in our tracks and bring us to our knees in desperation because all of a sudden nothing within our finite minds makes any sense. We stop looking to our own counsel, hopefully, and instead seek His. We admit our futility, failures, and fumbles, and reach inside to dust off something we might have set aside for a time...faith.

This humbling agent of interruption, perhaps, may be taken in a negative light. However, once an interruption has humbled us, it also serves as reminder of God's presence, His guidance, and utmost care for every detail of our lives--but especially that which paves the way to a more intimate walk with Him. Positive elements. Good things. Knowing there is potential for spiritual growth to take place in my life, even as a result of having to sacrifice my schedule and earthly resolve, absolutely fills my heart with a much greater hope than if I were to continue charting life on my own.

I was encouraged when Gloria confessed to have finally discovered what she "wants to be when she grows up" by the young age of sixty! At twenty-five, I have considered myself well behind my peers in that respect! Yet, as God continues to blow surging hurricanes through my daily activities, my prayer is that I would accept those interruptions with not only a gracious, godly submission, but also with an adventurous curiosity and anticipation of eternally weighted tasks God may choose to accomplish through me by way of interruption! I want to get to the place where I even welcome interruptions. And there, find God's will not in some distant future or tucked away in some box, but all around me, within every moment...every breath. God doesn't set us out on some scavenger hunt to find His will. He is ever actively in the process with us and simply wants our hearts to resonate with His. And then all we have to do, as in the words of Chuck Swindoll, is merely "show up for work." And right now that means loving my charge Samantha, protecting and enriching her as if she were my own child. It means denying self in order to serve the Cecil family in practical, sacrificial ways. It means going the extra mile...displaying sincere love for people...staying in the Word...paying for my school bill...faithfully serving in my local church..."picking up socks"!

Gloria challenged me to look at my life's interruptions in a new, more spirit-filled light. In fact, taking a glance into hindsight I now see many evidences of God moving me through divinely placed doors by way of interruptions. Doors of which I had never before considered coming from His hand but of my own crafted efforts! How reassuring and freeing to know God is in control!

Nanny work is not my career choice. Granted, it is a position God has used to stretch me, to increase my knowledge and wisdom, and has always offered a unique ministry opportunity. And it IS something I love to do. Yet, while my heart is in and has always been in the field of writing, I look back and discover that so much of what I have written thus far has come out of my experiences as a nanny. And God has used some of that to encourage and challenge other people. What more do I want?!

Had God led me right out of high school to a public university for education in copywriting or journalism, I would never have received Bible training in college, nor obtained an education degree. I would never have experienced the rich depth of peer fellowship, which I found there. I would never have learned those hard lessons that have shaped me into the person I am today and, even greater, cultivated within me such fantastic desire to KNOW GOD, that which I might not have otherwise encountered. I would never exchange those life-impacting experiences for any writing career in the world, if given the opportunity!

Going further, had I not accepted positions with my various host families I would not had a Christian influence on so many children’s' lives. I would never have learned so many principles and practices pertaining to household and family. I certainly would not have been blessed with such amazing travel opportunities, to places like Vermont, Massachusetts, West Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, and the Bahamas! And had my career path been different I would have never met such embracing, accepting church families as my travels have allowed me.

In fact, I would not have even been able to attend the Heart of Worship conference and hear this message of Gloria's had I not been staying with my host family in North Carolina for that weekend! I look back and am thankful for how I can trace the hand of God all throughout my past. Interruptions have brought many good things into my life. A knee injury in college led me to nanny my physical therapist's daughter. A church split plunged me into greater depths of dependence on God. A floundering love interest distracted me enough to allow the right man to come into my life and pursue my heart.

God has done some amazing things via interruption. I must remember that the next time I want to slam my fist and scream in frustration. I hope Gloria's challenging words, born out of both experience and deep conviction, will carry me through many interruptions to come. The next interruption just may lead to an opportunity to share Christ. It may become a door of opportunity into the writing field. It may, however, simply steer me to that one stray, dirty sock under my bed that I might pick it up and toss it into the hamper. For what right do I have to judge the significance of any such interruption? So quickly I forget that to me to live is CHRIST, that with Him my life and my will is crucified. The goal is not greatness, but humility and surrender. My pride will quickly destroy me, but in that humility I find grace, and only in Christ can that lead to anything great.

This is not a matter of being IN God's will or OUT of God's will. God has no "plan B for your life," as Gloria put it, "only plan A." He uses even our sinful tendencies and ALWAYS uses our weaknesses to accomplish His purposes. Still, we cannot ignore the clear command from James 4:7 to "submit ourselves to God. In Proverbs 3:5-6, to quit analyzing and reasoning with life on human terms. To quit striving long enough to look toward Heaven with a willing and trusting heart. I would rather my legacy be one by which God used my submissiveness rather than my sinfulness! If anything, I come to the Father with renewed hope that He will continue to prove Himself faithful as I desire to prove the same. Thank you, Gloria!

It's all about you, Jesus
And all this is for you,
for your glory and your fame
It's not about me,
as if you should do things my way
You alone are God
and I surrender to your ways
-Paul Oakley

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