Tuesday, October 11, 2005

CAPTIVATING

Ladies everywhere NEED to read "Captivating"!

The following is part of an email letter I wrote to my pastor's wife concerning a book she recommended and, actually, gave to me. I wanted her to know how this book was impacting my life...and now I want to share the same with all of you--especially any women who may be reading. I would venture to say no other book in my 25 years has so gripped in my soul and has caused me to understand and love my Savior better than Joh & Staci Eldredge's book "Captivating". This is self-explanatory in the letter, but I hope it encourages you to pink up the book. :) -T

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....Speaking of good books, the main reason I am writing you is because I wanted to thank you again for the wonderful fellowship gifts--especially Captivating. I didn't open it up right away. I was in the middle of a couple other reads, and it got shuffled to the side. As I was packing for our most recent trip to Charlotte, I decided to bring it along. Without any real idea of where this book might take me, other than the premise you stated to me, I began to read. And I couldn't put it down! At first I had it in mind to write in the journal with each chapter. Then I realized it would be a hindrance, and so I decided to read the book straight through, and then I am going to go through it again, more slowly and accompanied by the journal. I am going to have to read it again.

Only now do I understand what you were talking about when you said that the book was challenging and convicting in unexpected areas. I thought that perhaps it was different from other books for women, but that soon enough it would begin to drift over into what I've already heard, what I've already read. The book I read just prior to Captivating did just that. I am almost 3/4 of the way through, and it hasn't yet.

I've cried through the entire thing. Some tears stemmed from deep conviction, others from recalling God's promises, and still others (and probably the most profound tears) came when I realized how timely God is guiding me through this book. I have been reading a chapter here and there, but except at the beginning when I was devouring the message, I have not been able to read too much at a time. And I KNOW that is God. It was God who spurred me to begin reading at the first chapter, and it is God who is providing me with exactly the right words I need to hear when my heart and my spirit need to hear them most.

Tammy, God is drawing me to His Word by this book. I have never in my life been more hungry to pour into the Scriptures and hide them within me as I am now. I have never been more prone to cry out to God moment after moment, time and again during the day as I have recently. And yet the book isn't one-sidedly covering God's character and attributes. I am learning new things about God that are making me consider my relationship with Him in a new and brighter light. I am being reminded of certain truths about God while discovering new angles of meaning and application. Most of all, I am being thrown into greater depths of dependence on God, as if I am getting to know Him for the first time.

Now, by saying all this I don't imply for a minute that life is easier having received these enlightenments. On the contrary, I am feeling more and more broken and helpless, less self-assured and more aware of His presence and grace in the everyday situations of life. Before the book my thoughts were constantly analytical and reasoning. I would fight my way past certainly Divinely placed hurdles and bumps in order to achieve what I thought was the right path. Although I too often carry my old nature into each day, my spirit is, for a change, beginning to grow quiet, my hands, daring to lie still. I can't tell you how many times God has proved his presence and work in my life when instead of making myself weary with frustration at one failed attempt after another, I just take a breath and simply look toward heaven. I have never been more assured of His love and involvement in my world because of this mindset. And it overwhelms me.

God is transforming me, and while I certainly didn't initially look to the book for that reason (I probably would have kept it closed if only I knew!); regardless, He has seen fit to do so. It really IS a daily death to self. It ebbs and flows, and to drink of God's resources and gifts is to truly be satisfied. It is humbling to think that He would care enough about one single soul out of millions of his children to lift me up out of myself, through blazing fire and sharpened shears, into a more intimate and personal relationship...with me. Loneliness is fading and contentment is lingering...oh, that I would never dwell other than in His grace!

This has become my greatest hope: "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee" (Isaiah 26:3).

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