My friend Naomi posted a blog that got me thinking this morning.
I often wonder if I sin constantly in my motives. I was just reading the Hiding Place where Corrie ten Boom confessed a realization of her own selfishness. Striving to reach the middle of the crowd during roll call so she wouldn't be as cold as those on the outside. Hoarding vitamin water for her ill sister Betsie, only administering it to her at night so no one else would see and want some. Defending her actions by thinking how they were ministering in the camp and sharing the gospel to the prisoners so they needed to be in fair physical condition because God was using them.
But how far do you take it? Were they sinning in their motives? Or was Corrie just being unreasonable and her actions actually just? I don't know. Am I sinning in my motives when I feel the least I am entitled to is a shower every day? I mean, Corrie didn't get to shower for months!! What about when I feel entitled to a clean kitchen floor? Or the opportunity to get out of the house because I am stir crazy? I think that by taking care of myself and maintaining a pleasant environment I can better take care of and minister to my family. Happy wife, happy life - right?
Is the fact that I question this an evidence that it is sin? Or is Satan whispering tiny lies, trying to distract me from the main thing by getting me to walk on eggshells around my relationship with God? If "eating and drinking to the glory of God" is a biblical concept, when does this turn inward and selfish? Are we as Christians even capable of truly honoring God with our choices or is there within even the most pure thought and action always this slight bent toward preserving self?
Do I just not trust God enough to provide for my needs, even the lesser visible emotional and social ones? Or do I simply invent "needs" for myself when my vision of Jehovah Jireh becomes blurred? The phrase "God is enough" implies such an abstract concept that I think most of the time I don't realize that my needs are even met. How very basic are my needs and how spoiled I have become!
Still, could there be folly in worrying so much about whether my motive is right that it prohibits me from just living and enjoying God's gifts and blessings? Where is that fine line? I wish He would have spelled all that out so we could know. But I suppose that's the Pharisee in me.
These things I constantly wonder...
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens
I love endearing memes like this. Kelly posted about the simple pleasures in life and I am going to add my list. At least the list of today. Things change, and pleasures change, but it will be fun to record what brings a smile to my face at this stage of life. Hopefully it will bring out more gratitude in me.
I started writing this on 2/3/10 but never published it because I just kept adding to it! I am a list freak so you know I could continue this post for days and days! However, it was written pre-baby so of course now I have a whole slew of new favorite things...little coos, smiles, soft skin, tiny fingers, onesies and pacis.... Definitely another list for another day!!!
But here is my list of favorite things from back in February (in no particular order and certainly non-exhaustive). Oh, and somebody else used this title but it was my original title so I'm keeping it.
a completely clean house, especially the floors (ahhhhh...)
the first sip of a Caribou Lite White Raspberry latte that instantly warms up your insides
spending a couple good hours (at least!) in a used bookstore
the anticipatory scent of brownies baking
watching big, wet flakes of snow fall in the evening
new color of paint on the walls
opening a new CD
spontaneous back rubs from my husband at just the right time!
feeling my baby boy kick and move around and wondering what it will be like to hold him and look into his tiny face
...and when Jeromy feels the baby kick! (SO fun to see him connect!)
holiday candy clearance (I am a total sweets junkie)
leftover night! (AA-double-MEN!)
looking at my wedding ring and still not believing the life God has given me with such a wonderful companion!
washing my face!!! (I love feeling fresh after a long day)
reading Woman's Day or other wholesome chick mag
looking at pictures (or watching videos) over and over on Facebook of my sweet little 2-year-old niece Scarlett. Minnesota is too far away! :(
occasional bowls of kid cereal!
list memes like this (I enjoy introspection)
post-workout endorphins
opening a fresh bag of coffee beans and grinding them at home
shopping at quick and easy Aldi after traipsing around huge, overly crowded, and always dirty Walmart
perusing Craigslist for baby stuff (a new simple pleasure for me but oh. the. deals!)
along those lines...garage sale season and leaving your house bright and early with cash in your pocket, not knowing what you might find
eating chips & salsa at a Mexican restaurant (who needs real food anyway??)
sitting in bed with Jeromy at night reading books (together or separately)
reading "mommy" blogs
combining a sale with a coupon!
an evening thunderstorm
Dunkin' Donut's French crullers (maybe a guilty pleasure? I rarely have them so it's a treat!)
real homemade pizza (except for the sauce, we cheat)
a tall glass of chocolate milk (if I were to have a pregnancy craving, this is it!)
buying a new skein or two of yarn, even when I don't need any
grating fresh Parmesan cheese
laughing at The Office with Jeromy
looking for new recipes
a good long replenishing drink of ice water (I carry my Nalgene bottle everywhere!)
letting myself watch Rachel Ray, Regis & Kelly, or Andy Griffith (whichever is on) while running on the treadmill (the only time the TV is on during the day)
...or watching HGTV or Supernanny episodes on the laptop while ironing (ok, so the puter is always on!)
and to follow, how nice Jeromy looks wearing a shirt & pants I iron for him
going out to eat after church (isn't that always the best?)
updating my Facebook status with something fun or clever that I know I will get a million comments on
the smell of someone in the neighborhood burning leaves
looking into Jeromy's "droopy" eyes (as I call them)
Reese's Pieces, my current favorite candy munchy....and malted milk balls...and Twizzlers...and Twix...and Junior Mints...and Skittles!
getting goosebumps in the shower when the water is extra luxuriously warm
breakfast for dinner
when I find a new Netflix DVD in the mailbox
the evening before a non work day
getting an early start to the morning
a big ol' fat Honeycrisp apple!
drooling over this site. Oh, and this one, too.
classic children's books (dare I admit one of the books I'm reading is a Little House book??)
finishing a to-do list
bologna and cheese sandwich (mostly yuck, but which I haven't had for months since you're not supposed to eat nitrates during pregnancy - you want what you can't have!)
returning home from work to the smell of crock pot chicken
sending a card to someone
a fresh haircut
crisp Autumn air
wearing Mabelline Define-a-Lash mascara (lime green tube). I've gotten compliments!
the process of making cookies (especially the licking the bowl part!)
wearing my fleece around the house (I prefer dressing in layers to blasting the heat)
driving with a full tank of gas
chocolate soft serve (oooooh. Baaaaaby.)
browsing around Target with no shopping list (this is *dangerous*!)
I started writing this on 2/3/10 but never published it because I just kept adding to it! I am a list freak so you know I could continue this post for days and days! However, it was written pre-baby so of course now I have a whole slew of new favorite things...little coos, smiles, soft skin, tiny fingers, onesies and pacis.... Definitely another list for another day!!!
But here is my list of favorite things from back in February (in no particular order and certainly non-exhaustive). Oh, and somebody else used this title but it was my original title so I'm keeping it.
a completely clean house, especially the floors (ahhhhh...)
the first sip of a Caribou Lite White Raspberry latte that instantly warms up your insides
spending a couple good hours (at least!) in a used bookstore
the anticipatory scent of brownies baking
watching big, wet flakes of snow fall in the evening
new color of paint on the walls
opening a new CD
spontaneous back rubs from my husband at just the right time!
feeling my baby boy kick and move around and wondering what it will be like to hold him and look into his tiny face
...and when Jeromy feels the baby kick! (SO fun to see him connect!)
holiday candy clearance (I am a total sweets junkie)
leftover night! (AA-double-MEN!)
looking at my wedding ring and still not believing the life God has given me with such a wonderful companion!
washing my face!!! (I love feeling fresh after a long day)
reading Woman's Day or other wholesome chick mag
looking at pictures (or watching videos) over and over on Facebook of my sweet little 2-year-old niece Scarlett. Minnesota is too far away! :(
occasional bowls of kid cereal!
list memes like this (I enjoy introspection)
post-workout endorphins
opening a fresh bag of coffee beans and grinding them at home
shopping at quick and easy Aldi after traipsing around huge, overly crowded, and always dirty Walmart
perusing Craigslist for baby stuff (a new simple pleasure for me but oh. the. deals!)
along those lines...garage sale season and leaving your house bright and early with cash in your pocket, not knowing what you might find
eating chips & salsa at a Mexican restaurant (who needs real food anyway??)
sitting in bed with Jeromy at night reading books (together or separately)
reading "mommy" blogs
combining a sale with a coupon!
an evening thunderstorm
Dunkin' Donut's French crullers (maybe a guilty pleasure? I rarely have them so it's a treat!)
real homemade pizza (except for the sauce, we cheat)
a tall glass of chocolate milk (if I were to have a pregnancy craving, this is it!)
buying a new skein or two of yarn, even when I don't need any
grating fresh Parmesan cheese
laughing at The Office with Jeromy
looking for new recipes
a good long replenishing drink of ice water (I carry my Nalgene bottle everywhere!)
letting myself watch Rachel Ray, Regis & Kelly, or Andy Griffith (whichever is on) while running on the treadmill (the only time the TV is on during the day)
...or watching HGTV or Supernanny episodes on the laptop while ironing (ok, so the puter is always on!)
and to follow, how nice Jeromy looks wearing a shirt & pants I iron for him
going out to eat after church (isn't that always the best?)
updating my Facebook status with something fun or clever that I know I will get a million comments on
the smell of someone in the neighborhood burning leaves
looking into Jeromy's "droopy" eyes (as I call them)
Reese's Pieces, my current favorite candy munchy....and malted milk balls...and Twizzlers...and Twix...and Junior Mints...and Skittles!
getting goosebumps in the shower when the water is extra luxuriously warm
breakfast for dinner
when I find a new Netflix DVD in the mailbox
the evening before a non work day
getting an early start to the morning
a big ol' fat Honeycrisp apple!
drooling over this site. Oh, and this one, too.
classic children's books (dare I admit one of the books I'm reading is a Little House book??)
finishing a to-do list
bologna and cheese sandwich (mostly yuck, but which I haven't had for months since you're not supposed to eat nitrates during pregnancy - you want what you can't have!)
returning home from work to the smell of crock pot chicken
sending a card to someone
a fresh haircut
crisp Autumn air
wearing Mabelline Define-a-Lash mascara (lime green tube). I've gotten compliments!
the process of making cookies (especially the licking the bowl part!)
wearing my fleece around the house (I prefer dressing in layers to blasting the heat)
driving with a full tank of gas
chocolate soft serve (oooooh. Baaaaaby.)
browsing around Target with no shopping list (this is *dangerous*!)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
6 Weeks Already??
I'm still finishing up the birth story but I thought I'd post some 5 to 6 week stats on my Little Monkey.
Miles...
Is alert more, crying less (yay!), and is even starting to coo! I thought we would never get anything out of him but a blank stare but he is starting to interact and that’s such a great payoff for all the hard work! Now I can’t wait to get full-up laughter out of him!
Is eating an average of 3.5-4oz at each feeding. Although he has drained a few 5-oz bottles in the last couple days so maybe he's moving up!
Loves his MAM paci! We use the 6mo+ variety as suggested by a friend that it would stay in better than the 0-3mo and we couldn’t agree more! Miles doesn’t even like the smaller one anymore. The paci thing can be a pain but also a life saver. Hoping to drop it by 6 months, preferably sooner.
Slept for a 5-hour stretch one recent night. He's gone 4 hours a few times lately but tends to stick to 3 to 3.5-hour stretches during the night.
Has tons of clothes but not too many things that fit him yet! He's long but still a skinny little thing! So he tends to wear lots of sleepers for now. I'm trying not to rush his growth but there are some really cute outfits I can't wait to put him in!
Is an excellent traveler, although is starting to not sleep when we are out-and-about. Too interested in the outside world I guess!
Is just now starting to like the swing. Correction: love the swing. It’s great for when I’m preparing dinner or dusting and have to bend over too often to wear him. His little eyes try to follow the mobile above the swing and he always looks like he's in another world!
Is starting to hold his head up really well!
Still needs swaddled but is outgrowing his Kiddopotomous Swaddle Me blanket in length. We just ordered a Woombie and hope he will sleep even better in it as it is less restrictive.
Poor kid, has a flat head on his preferred right side; working on tummy time to even things out. Our pediatrician isn’t worried about it and says it is common and should take care of itself when he learns how to roll over.
Is a super cuddle bug. He loves to be chest to chest with anyone. And I love this about him!
Enjoys the mei tai around the house, just not at first when I put him in, but he settles right down once he gets comfortable. Walked around Target for an hour with him in it a couple weeks ago and he was golden. However, he tends to fall asleep while in the carrier, even if I put him in just after a nap. I try to constantly talk to him and keep moving around doing things around the house to keep him awake but he still nods off. I think it's way cute, but he's slept only in his crib from day 1 and I don't want to mess that up. If I put him in his swing or bouncy seat he'll stay awake for up to an hour. Silly boy!
Has a receding hairline and looks like an old man! I would love for his hair to grow back bright red like his Auntie Elizabeth’s. I think at best we may either get strawberry blond or sandy brown like Daddy’s with red tints.
Mostly takes bottles of breast milk but still desires to nurse even though it lasts 5 minutes when he doesn’t want to work for the milk. I love that he at least still tries to nurse even though he prefers the faster flow of the bottle. I know he does it for comfort and I love the bonding. Just not when he wants to nurse when we are already late for his doctor’s appointment, Mister!
Had trouble gaining weight in the first two to three weeks. Started pumping and supplementing with formula, which was a hard decision but we wanted him to gain so we followed orders. I have started to pump around the clock and, while a lot of work I love it because: I know how much he is getting, feedings now take less time (though you have to account for pumping time afterward), my “control freak” nature is satisfied, Jeromy gets to help feed (hallelujah!), running errands has become a lot less stressful and hurried, breast milk stays longer at room temperature than formula, and I feel good that he is getting primarily breast milk now (maybe 2oz of formula every other day, if that). I only fear my supply dwindling. So far it has only increased as my pumping sessions have increased, so I continue to take it one day at a time and hope to offer him breast milk for as long as this keeps working.
Current weight as of 5/12 is 8lbs 12 oz, up almost a whole pound from his 7lbs 13oz he weighed two weeks ago! An ounce a day is what we’re looking for and what he’s finally pulling off! He’s even starting to get a little belly!
Miles...
Is alert more, crying less (yay!), and is even starting to coo! I thought we would never get anything out of him but a blank stare but he is starting to interact and that’s such a great payoff for all the hard work! Now I can’t wait to get full-up laughter out of him!
Is eating an average of 3.5-4oz at each feeding. Although he has drained a few 5-oz bottles in the last couple days so maybe he's moving up!
Loves his MAM paci! We use the 6mo+ variety as suggested by a friend that it would stay in better than the 0-3mo and we couldn’t agree more! Miles doesn’t even like the smaller one anymore. The paci thing can be a pain but also a life saver. Hoping to drop it by 6 months, preferably sooner.
Slept for a 5-hour stretch one recent night. He's gone 4 hours a few times lately but tends to stick to 3 to 3.5-hour stretches during the night.
Has tons of clothes but not too many things that fit him yet! He's long but still a skinny little thing! So he tends to wear lots of sleepers for now. I'm trying not to rush his growth but there are some really cute outfits I can't wait to put him in!
Is an excellent traveler, although is starting to not sleep when we are out-and-about. Too interested in the outside world I guess!
Is just now starting to like the swing. Correction: love the swing. It’s great for when I’m preparing dinner or dusting and have to bend over too often to wear him. His little eyes try to follow the mobile above the swing and he always looks like he's in another world!
Is starting to hold his head up really well!
Still needs swaddled but is outgrowing his Kiddopotomous Swaddle Me blanket in length. We just ordered a Woombie and hope he will sleep even better in it as it is less restrictive.
Poor kid, has a flat head on his preferred right side; working on tummy time to even things out. Our pediatrician isn’t worried about it and says it is common and should take care of itself when he learns how to roll over.
Is a super cuddle bug. He loves to be chest to chest with anyone. And I love this about him!
Enjoys the mei tai around the house, just not at first when I put him in, but he settles right down once he gets comfortable. Walked around Target for an hour with him in it a couple weeks ago and he was golden. However, he tends to fall asleep while in the carrier, even if I put him in just after a nap. I try to constantly talk to him and keep moving around doing things around the house to keep him awake but he still nods off. I think it's way cute, but he's slept only in his crib from day 1 and I don't want to mess that up. If I put him in his swing or bouncy seat he'll stay awake for up to an hour. Silly boy!
Has a receding hairline and looks like an old man! I would love for his hair to grow back bright red like his Auntie Elizabeth’s. I think at best we may either get strawberry blond or sandy brown like Daddy’s with red tints.
Mostly takes bottles of breast milk but still desires to nurse even though it lasts 5 minutes when he doesn’t want to work for the milk. I love that he at least still tries to nurse even though he prefers the faster flow of the bottle. I know he does it for comfort and I love the bonding. Just not when he wants to nurse when we are already late for his doctor’s appointment, Mister!
Had trouble gaining weight in the first two to three weeks. Started pumping and supplementing with formula, which was a hard decision but we wanted him to gain so we followed orders. I have started to pump around the clock and, while a lot of work I love it because: I know how much he is getting, feedings now take less time (though you have to account for pumping time afterward), my “control freak” nature is satisfied, Jeromy gets to help feed (hallelujah!), running errands has become a lot less stressful and hurried, breast milk stays longer at room temperature than formula, and I feel good that he is getting primarily breast milk now (maybe 2oz of formula every other day, if that). I only fear my supply dwindling. So far it has only increased as my pumping sessions have increased, so I continue to take it one day at a time and hope to offer him breast milk for as long as this keeps working.
Current weight as of 5/12 is 8lbs 12 oz, up almost a whole pound from his 7lbs 13oz he weighed two weeks ago! An ounce a day is what we’re looking for and what he’s finally pulling off! He’s even starting to get a little belly!
Friday, May 7, 2010
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