Yesterday we had a young friend visit us for dinner. (Which means all that homemade pizza is long gone!) Jeromy met Chris about 3 years ago while Chris worked at the Coffee Quarter (the place Jeromy and I met). They started having spiritual conversations, and on occasion Chris would meet with Jeromy for a sort of Bible study. Since then, our contact with Chris has been random (this is a SMALL county; it's likely to run into everybody we know at some place or other at least once a year). He's a great young man, very polite, but also very secular. We don't have people in our home terribly often, and since pizza is a pretty universal favorite food, we thought we would ask him over.
We had a fun night of visiting. Ate too much, looked on www.somd.com for a table and chair set for Chris, and listened to a little Derek Webb. (We had been talking about the campaign year, and wanted Chris to listen to "Savior on Capitol Hill" for kicks. Complete satire, but so true.) Then I used our guest as an excuse to break out the brownie mix. (But really, who needs an excuse for that?!) and we ate....some more. I had been trying out different from-scratch brownie recipes I found on www.allrecipes.com but haven't found the winner yet. In the meantime, the box mix never lets me down.
Jeromy and I have a few friends here in Southern Maryland, but to be honest, not that many. And it seems they are all guys. You got Chris, Joe, and Mark. We really don't hang out with too many other people, outside of church (and we have found true fellowship doesn't actually happen at church...but that's a topic for another blog). Let me emphasize that I am so grateful for the friends God has given us, and the opportunities we have had to share experiences and talk about our faith. What I am missing is girl talk.
Jeromy and I used to be a part of a young adult Sunday School class, which consisted of mainly married couples, and about 3/4 of them with children. Some were our age and some were older. Over the last quarter we switched to a different Sunday School because we felt we weren't getting to know other people in the church. All the other classes scrambled the groups every couple months or so, and we felt there were so many faces that we recognized, but individuals we didn't know much about.
So we switched. A part of me missed the old group because they were our peers or close to it, but the other part of me enjoyed learning about this new group, at least as deep as we could one hour once a week (again, another blog!). Now we are at the end of another Sunday School quarter, and Jeromy and I will most likely go back to the young couples class.
There are a few girls in the group who I could get together with, but the events I seem to plan (and I make sure to give a lot of notice!) rarely provide a good turnout. Maybe people like more spontaneity, I don't know. But the point is, I struggle with getting together with my female peers for anything. It seems like people don't want to add anything extra to weekday evenings. I can empathize with that, just because we go to bed so early (we stink, yeah). But it seems that the guys we hang out with more readily agree to come by for a visit, or to meet somewhere for coffee or whatever. Maybe it is because those guys are single...I dunno.
There are a few ladies Bible studies organized by our church, but they are mid-morning on a weekday. And even then, those who attend those studies are SAHMs or older ladies. I do desire spending time with women older than me because they have a wealth of wisdom to draw from. But I also need that "same boat" type connection with someone my age and who can relate to my stage in life. It's just been hard to find that.
Sometimes it's difficult to go on Facebook and see all my friends from college. I realize many of them may be facing a similar dry spell. When I go on there I catch a glimpse of what used to be and it feels like we are all together again, even though we're not. It makes me wish we all lived close by because we would never lack for people to get together with. But they live THERE. I live here. Facebook is an amazing tool for keeping in touch with family and friends, but I will never "do life" with those people. Only those in my Southern Maryland sphere.
Which makes me think about the singles group at our church. They are ALWAYS participating in some activity or another. So is that what this is? Is this something that happens when one goes from being single to being married? Are married people less likely to hang out with other couples because of responsibilities they have now but didn't have while single? If that is true, I don't like it. Maybe I have to accept it but I feel like it shouldn't HAVE to be this way. We all need relationships with others outside our families at every place in life. But how will that realistically happen, now that I am married?
Maybe this is just a season in my life where I have to learn to be content without much girl-to-girl interaction. I'll keep trying, though. Maybe it's just a matter of timing.
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