We decided that I will stay with my dad for a week or two. Jeromy might also come out for a few days, but we haven't decided for sure yet. We did find out, however, that airlines offer a hefty discount on airfare (I'm talking 50-70% off!), not only for berevement, but for individuals with seriously ill family members. We just have to prove that my dad is in a nursing facility or hospice, which the social worker at his care center will take care of. Wish we had known about this for our trip last month! Here are the details for Midwest and Northwest. I believe most other airlines also offer this type of discount:
Medical/Funeral Fare
Midwest offers a discounted rate for passengers to travel due to unscheduled medical treatment, to visit loved ones with life-threatening medical conditions, or to attend funeral services/memorials. Please call Midwest Airlines Reservations at 800-452-2022.
Northwest offers WorldPerks members a discounted medical emergency fare for last minute travel to visit immediate family members who are suffering ill health. Fares are valid for one-way and round-trip coach travel within the 50 United States or between the 50 United States and Canada . The ill family member must be confined to a hospital, nursing home, convalescent home or be registered with a hospice program. At the time of booking, passengers must provide emergency information that can be verified with the hospital, hospice program, home health care organization or the doctor.
One of the reasons we are choosing to go now is to spend time with him while he is most alert. Because my dad's body is unable to endure chemo treatment, they are instead putting him on all kinds of drugs for pain control, which make him unceasingly groggy and cloudy-headed. As this cancer continues to advance he will need more and more of these drugs. This is the prime time, if there is one, to interact with him.
My mom mentioned yesterday that my dad has lost even more weight and hardly gets out of bed. He needs encouragement of every sort right now, because we aren't ready for him to give up just yet. I believe God can strengthen his body enough to go back to physical therapy. The doctors say chemo is unthinikable at this point, but I am willing to see if we can get him beyond this point. And even if he only continues to decline, at least we can say we tried the best we could, and that we were able to share a few of his last days with him.
Pray that we can encourage his spirit and that he would encounter the Lord even while he is still in this broken body. He needs Him more than he needs us. Jeromy and I discussed possibly talking about Heaven with him. Helping him to look forward to what awaits believers on the other side. I want to read to him; I'm not sure if anyone has been doing that, other than a few verses here and there by his pastor. I want to at least try to dig deep, ask him what's going on in his heart. So far he has opened up in this way to no one, that I know of. Yet I feel it is a crucial piece in the process of dying. I have never gone very deep with my dad, so this a little scary. I just feel God laying it on my heart.
I keep praying that the Lord would give him as much quality of life as he can experience at this point. This could be an utmost beautiful time in the lives of my whole family if we really soak in all that God is pouring out on us. I want us, and especially my dad, to view the little things in life as gifts from God and to enjoy them as blessings. The abilty to eat, to look outside, to blink, to sleep, to breathe, to cry....to spend a few minutes visiting with a family member or friend, to open his Bible and read his Savior's words and find spiritual nurishment. And, of course, to smile.
My mom had a nurse take this photo of the two of them a couple days ago. And would you look at that? He smiles as though none of this is happening to him. Oh that God were already answering my prayer.
6 comments:
I'm amazed by the grace evidenced in your life, and continue to pray for you.
I wonder if the airlines will retroactively credit your last flight? You know, tack a credit onto travel for the future?
tara,
please, definitely have "that" conversation with your dad...I had to do it too before my dad's passing and it was very awkward, but my husband insisted. My faith wasn't that strong then, so who was I, but God put it on my heart and I had to do it....but, it helps me knowing to this day where my dad's heart was before he passed. I can honestly say he's with our amazing God in Heaven, probably standing at the feet of the throne worshipping him in awe! Maybe it was because of our conversation, or maybe it was because of his own willingness to commit to Christ without me saying a word - I guess I'll ask him when I see him there! I'm continuing to pray for you!
Tara, just wanted you to know, if there is anything we can do to be of help, whether it's cooking a meal, driving you somewhere, or offering my beds, please let us know. As you know, we've been through this stage, and understand. Your extended family in MN, The Sweeneys
Tara - I'm so sorry about your dad. I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm glad you will be able to spend time with him. I know that will be precious time for both of you and you will always remember it. Treasure the entire time you are there. I'll pray for your comfort and strength.
Tara,
We want you to know that our family and our church are praying for your Dad as well as all of you. We are praying that God would be glorified in what seems a very difficult time. Both Paul's parents have passed away both with cancer. We are praying for your Dad's faith to be strengthened. Lisa and Paul Michalski
Tara,
I just ran across your site and read this post and my heart just broke for you and your family. I can't imagine how hard this is for all of you. I will be praying for you as you seek to talk with your father about spiritual things - I know it can be hard, especially if he's never really opened up in this way before.
Your sister in Christ.
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